View Full Version : Help! Negative Behaviour!

20-09-2012, 08:46 AM

OK - I have a new family that have recently started with me - there are four school children but I am not looking after the eldest.

The middle child, who is 5 tomorrow, is displaying lots of negative and unwanted behaviour.

I don't want to label him as such, as I don't think he is a bad child in any way, just has a way of always acting up.

Sometimes he doesn't listen, ALWAYS wants his own way, when things don't go his way he throws a tantrum like a baby and he can be quite aggressive towards his younger twin siblings at times too.

I have sat all the children down and discussed house rules, given them ownership of the rules and have also implemented a reward chart for them all.

But still, he keeps on displaying the negative behaviour.

I just don't know what to do with him - mum says he's a handful at home, and I can imagine - on the days where he has a good day with me, as soon as mum comes, he starts playing up again.

He was with another childminder who used to do time out with him, but it got to a point where the mum decided that's all he used to do and wanted him with someone else.

I have worked with children from deprived backgrounds who had lots of challenging behaviours, but I just don't know where to go with this one.

Please help - I want to be able to break this cycle and enjoy my time looking after all the family!!!!!

Kim x

The Juggler
20-09-2012, 08:57 AM
i would speak to the child on his own. Tell him the behaviour he is showing when he doesn't get his way is like a toddler.

Ask him what he thinks you should do when he behaves like this. He probably hasn't been taught how to express himself properly so won't know how to react when he is bored/doesn't want to do something so you could suggest some i.e.

if youdon't want to do soemthing, don't be cross, come and tell me - nicely - that you sould like to do something else.

if you feel cross with someone, come and tell me and I will sort them out or you can come in the kitchen and have a shout to the wall or me, and feel better

then come up with some sanctions tha tyou both agree on and stick to them. you might want to get him to choose some rewards too - like he picks an activity etc, etc,

then, when he still does dissolve into full blown tantrum, just ignore him and let him get on with it - talk loudly to other children making a big deal of ignoring him ;)

20-09-2012, 09:00 AM
I care for a child age 9yrs and he is a 'handful' - however I could describe him a lot more aptly with other very descriptive words. bluntly put he is used to wheedling and pleading and whining and playing the hard done by thing and getting his own way, he is underhand and sly, rarely listens, defiant etc.

Now that makes him sound awful - he isn't, he just needs firm FIRM handling.

I have told him very bluntly - he gets up my nose - I am bigger I can get futher up his nose. He want's privilages he has to earn them.
More times than plenty he has had to shadow me or sit out on his own.
Several times he has had his one warning and been put on a wriststrap on the way to school because he just cannot seem to 'get' the safe walking method.

Mum is fine with it all and I have made it VERY clear to her that if his behaviour affects the younger children then - by law, I cannot continue to care for him. Mum in turn has clearly spelled out to him that she needs to work to keep a roof over his head....

firm firm firm
he behaves like a baby you treat him like a baby