Terminating a contract

[kymberly]

Hi,

I'm need to rant but also would be grateful for any advice.....

I have been minding a lovely little 2year old and her behaviour is getting very bad at home. My own DS is 4 yrs old and when parents come to pick up their children he gets hyper (jumping into the settee, rolling round the floor etc) and I know it is an attention thing (i'm trying to talk to the parents so he is playing up).

Anyway, on Friday night the parent of the 2yr old said that the night before her little on had had such a tantrum that she kicked and punched the mum and the granny and she thinks it was because she was copying my own son's bad behaviour and was so hyper she was out of control. She said my son the only other child who would have an influence on her child.

I was so angry. I am now thinking of terminating our contract - I can't mind her daughther worrying that every bad behaiour she displays will be blamed on my son.

What do others think? I would really appreciate any views.

Thanks, Kymberly

[LittleLadybirds]

Aww hun,
I feel for you!

My son has just started school, and his behaviour at home was horrendous; it got so bad for him lashing out at me and his dad that we took him to see the HV just to check that I had tried everything to get him to change his behaviour. He never did it at playgroup, and (touch-wood) nothing at school yet, or with other family members, or towards any of the other children I was minding - just me and his dad!

Do you have a behaviour policy that you can discuss with the other parents to show what you are doing to tackle it, and also star chart or the like to encourage your son to behave?

Perhaps you could find an information sheet on 'terrible two's' as well to give to the parents; it's a phase and it will pass, just even more difficult if the other parents are totally oblivious to it!

[Tazmin68]

Hi
My two boys play up a bit when I have visitors so I either send to roomsfor time out or seperate them one upstairs and one downstairs. My 9 year old has aspergers and my 4 year old knows how to wind big bro up. I must say as soon as I threaten time out it works.
It could be worse two years ago my then two year old had a tantrum in the school playground because he didn't want a wrist strap on and the school is on a very busy road. Someone reported me to ofsted for having a toddler being upset. I had a call from ofsted and once I explained the situation it was unfounded.

[kymberly]

Thank you for your replies ladies.

The parent phoned to terminate the contract before I did. She said my son is the only child her little one is in contact with so her bad behaviour is his fault :angry:

She is putting her child in a nursery as she feels she will do better there :eek:. I don't know how she thinks she will see less negative behaviour in a nursery with 12-16 children in her group (I only have 2 mindees).

I never realised childminding would be this tough :panic:

[Tazmin68]

You never know child might not settle at nursery and behaviour continues and parent may come back. Is this child their only child and has never come across tantrums before. At least it will give you chance to focus on your own son at the moment. I have just found out that ds1 has not coped with transition from year 4 to 5 and is really stressed at school which has caused some behaviour issues. You will soon have another parent who understands children.

[Bluebell]

my goodness - sounds like these people are living in a bit of a bubble! I have to say I've been mortified by some of the acting up my children have done over time but all the parents and even the ofsted inspector laugh and say they can see through it / have experienced it. I feel sorry for the child if the parents can't expecet a bit of bad behaviour which lets face it all children go through stages of pushing boundaries/tantrums etc. I think they will be in for a shock as moving the child will make her more unsettled and more likley to act out.
Personally I think you are lucky that they have decided to try something else for their child as you can hold your head up and not feel that you've had to let them down while getting out of having to work with them iyswim!

[JCrakers]

:(

My dd was 5 when I started minding and she was a nightmare to begin with. She would do anything to get my attention when the doorbell rang. The rest of the time she was fine, it was just when parents arrived :mad:

I understand your concerns and id like to see how her behaviour gets better after nursery :rolleyes:

Have a word with your son, he is old enough to understand that you must be able to talk to parents without him being silly. I told my dd that she cold have my attention when parents had gone and if it was quite bad I would say ' if I can't talk to xxx without you being silly then you will have to go to your room while I answer the doors' she did get better

[kymberly]

Hey ladies,

thank you all so much for your support. Even though I know I'm right, it's nice to hear it from you guys. I think this mum has no clue that her daughter will see even worse behaviour than hyperness when she gets to nursery - biting, kicking, hitting to name a few :rolleyes:. It was an insult to blame my son, I am glad she's leaving.

Hey Tamsin, hope your daughter settles soon :)

Thanks again everyone x

[Tazmin68]

Yes
He is beginning to settle. Senco now agree with me that he needs a statement so that he will get help with the big transition to senior school.