View Full Version : Help - parent not paying and lying

09-09-2012, 09:38 PM
Hiya please help I'm a bit of a difficult situation and not sure how to handle it!

I had a parent who was strugglig to find childcare, she needed weekends and she doesn't drive therefore needed picking up from home. She came here and signed a contract to start this weekend.

She has tax credits so took my reg number an he was supposed to pay me Friday before I had her lo at the weekend. Sat morning at 1am she text me sayin the father of her lo hadn't brought him back ad was keeping him until Sunday, she said she was out of her mid with worry and she was so upset ad embarrassed he had done tht to her. I was a bit unsure tbh but I was very sympathetic and told her not to worry. She said she would pay me in full (very nice of her but it is part of our contract that she would have to pay me anyway and it was already a day late).

I waited until sat evening and then sent her a polite text and told her I had checked my Internet banking an nothing had go e in, I also reminded her she was due to pay me on the Friday before as per contract. No reply

As I was eagerly waiting her reply I was having a catch up on Facebook, I went to say happy bday to somebody and saw this girls profile on my friends as she ha also said happy bday!!i went on to see I it was the same person or not and it was. I could see her wall posts because we had a mutual friend in common. I had a quick nose to see if I could find out more about what had happened. (I assumed a drama like that would appear on Facebook ;)) one of her statuses said she was away with her bf until today (therefore not working!) and anotherone saying she's going to miss her lo going to his dads for a week (posted last Sunday) therefore wouldn't be due back until today

So she obviously never needed me to have her lo this weekend and instead of just asking me to change the start date, she lied to me (quite an emotional lie too!)

I don't know where I stand now, I don't know whether she's going to just mess me aroun or whether shes going to get back in contact at all. I charge £10/day for late fees tok which might be putti her off contacti me too. I'm also worried that she's claimin tax credits wih my number and pocketing them herself :(

What do you think I should do? Part of me thinks leave it until Friday, if she doesn't pay then I don't look after her lo, simple as. Also if she doesn't pay next week at least I get to talk to her face to face when picking her son up

Or the other part of me want to text her again and ask if she still wants the place an if she does I need to receive this weeks payments now and paymet for nexts on Friday.if she doesn't then just let me know and I will let tax credits know.


mrs robbie williams
10-09-2012, 05:50 AM
some parents :eek: id text and say you need confirmation and payment (inc what you are owed and nxt weeks payment), if you dont her by ..... you are legally required to inform ctc that the child was never in your care, then you need to decide how you will get your back pay and notice money or if you will cut your losses and forget about it xx

10-09-2012, 05:56 AM
Personally, I would have it out with her. I would ring her, explain that you had a mutual friend on fb and clicked on her to add her as a friend and as her profile isnt set to private you could see her posts. You don't need to humiliate her with details of her lies, but just say you saw her updates and obviously the situation wasn't as she had led you to believe. I would maybe give her the benefit of the doubt this time, maybe her man had sprung a surprise on her and she was too embarrassed to mess you about or something. I would just say that if she needed to change the agreement she had with you, all she had to do was let you know. See what happens this weekend and if she pays you for last weekend, and if she messes you about again I would knock it on the head early on. If you have to terminate the contract, maybe a call to tax credits to explain that you are no longer caring for the child (or didnt actually start) wouldnt be unreasonable. Hope you get it sorted, some people are so awkward!

10-09-2012, 07:22 AM
I would ring or post a letter and say overdue fees are due today and if they arent then you wont be able to have her child again.

If she cancels the contract I would let it go, I couldnt work with someone like this :blush:

10-09-2012, 07:56 AM
I would ring her and say as she hasnt yet paid you does she still want the space, if she says no its up to you wether you chase the notice period or just let it go and if she says yes then tell her if this weeks fees arent in your bank by this evening the placment will be canceled as you have other people needing the space.

10-09-2012, 08:00 AM
I would ring or post a letter and say overdue fees are due today and if they arent then you wont be able to have her child again.

If she cancels the contract I would let it go, I couldnt work with someone like this :blush:

Hear, hear. In fact, if it were me, I'd be seriously considering giving notice.

I couldn't work with a parent if I thought she was lying to me from the off. When she finds out that you got the information from Facebook, her perception may be that you've been "spying" on her private life. (People don't seem to understand that putting stuff on FB amounts to making that information public.)

I don't think the relationship is going to work. :(

10-09-2012, 08:11 AM
I would be wondering what she was going to do next!!To be honest i would give her notice as you already know that you cant trust her.I wouldnt even mention facebook as this could get her back up and she could accuse you of spying on her.Iv had similar experience myself and i would say that she is a waste of time!!You could talk to her and see if she is willing to pay,and if not then give her notice and inform tax credits!!Good luck People like this make me very angry:angry:

10-09-2012, 08:22 AM
parents eh? I had a parent who said she couldn't pay me til end of month as she had no money til tax credits....her 8yr old let slip that dad was collecting as mum had gone on a spa break with her bf the next day!!! Needless to say they were sent home with a letter saying 'no fees by tomorrow-no more care'

Just be glad that she hasn't built up any actual childcare fees yet and cut your losses hun.

10-09-2012, 12:39 PM
thank you for your replies!!

Grrr!!! :censored: not happy!!

I sent her another text asking if she still wanted the place and if she did i would need to be paid for last weekend by the end of today and ask her in future to pay on the friday as agreed. no reply again.

Just put the kiddies down for a nap, so thought i would try giving her a ring whilst i have 5 minutes - i put my number on withheld as i had a sneaking suspicion she wouldnt answer if she saw it was me. somebody answered, i asked for "X" and she said no it wasnt, 'X' was in the shower (really at 1.30??), it did sound a lot like X but couldnt be 100% sure. I said it was her childminder and i needed to talk to her urgently so could she give me a ring back when she was out the shower. :censored:

not a good start, luckily it doesn't effect my other mindees otherwise i would just end the contract now. i hate having to be so sneaky too (the withheld call) i swear i am not normally like that! im not going to mention facebook.

11-09-2012, 06:43 AM
Do a print screen of her fb so u have proof of what she was saying . But personally I wud say go find someone else cuz she really playing u x