Need some advice please asap

[melco]

Hi,

I have signed contracts for a 9 and 10yr old to start next week. It will be after school 3.30pm-6.30pm. This was all fine but have just been informed that my 2 daughters times will be changing for Ballet.

The problem I have is that these times will be earlier and I don't want to be dragging these children out to drop off and collect and then trying to get dinner sorted for them as I don't feel I will have time and it will be unfair on them. Me and my husband have discussed this and feel that it would be best for me and them if I did not have them. I would be ok to work notice etc if they wanted me to as I don't want to just let them down so soon to them starting but what do you say to the parent? Has anyone else signed contracts and then had to tell parent they can not do it?

The other thing is they were supposed to call me when they got back from holiday as they had other forms to sign but that was 2 weeks ago. I just don't know how to approach this with them as I am not very good at saying no so don't know whether to email them!! Oh I feel sick I hate letting people down but don't know what else to do. Am also worried that I will get bad reputation from this. I was just hoping they had no contacted me as they have changed their mind!! (I wish)

Just need some advice.

Thanks

melco

[blue bear]

Get it over with, give them a ring and explain. It's a horrible feeling having to let people down but most people understand personal circumstances change.
Make it clear it's nothing to do with the family and how delightful you thought they were. Do you know any other minders with vacancies you could sign post the family to?

[pinkbutterfly]

I would try to find a solution to keep everybody happy. It is very unprofessional to let them down so soon before school starts.
I had a similar issue with my daughter's brownies. I befriended two other mums from Brownies and we alternate drop offs and pick ups ... it means that I only need to do it every third week and of course there are breaks like half term etc when neither of us does any.

[Mouse]

Have dance times changed by much? What time would they have been & what time will they be now? Is it just one night a week?

I think I would phone parents and explain about the times having changed & how this will impact on their children (ie. having to go out to drop off & collect). Then leave it up to parents to decide if they want that for their children.

To be honest, if it's only one night a week it's not too bad. Also you could explain that tea for that night will be something simple. And at 9 & 10yrs old they're old enough to manage being taken out & about. It's not the same as if you had little children to ferry around.

Give parents a ring & see what they say :thumbsup:

[melco]

Its twice a week. One was Friday 4-4.30pm but my mum was taking her but now its 5.30-6.00pm on a Monday which she can't do and the mindees go at 6.30pm!! Then the other daughter is changing to a wednesday 5.00-5.30pm and she used to be Saturday so it was never a problem. I have a lot of help from my parents and we have been trying to sort out a rota but there are some days they just can't help with and I don't want to rely on them all the time!!

I know its unprofessional but they only do it term time and an email went put the beginning of the summer holidays but their teacher had old email address and because she did not hear from me to confirm that I was ok she called Friday to tell me. So since then have been trying to work out how I can do this without having a nervous breakdown. I will also have a 1yr old until 6.30pm.

Another problem is I don't drive and with English weather I would feel guilty dragging them out in the rain!!

[VeggieSausage]

Either get it over with and just do it, explain and apologise - ask around if another minder could do it and give them the details...

Or offer packed lunch type tea that they could eat when there waiting for your girls to come out and just explain situation to parents, offer to help find alternative if they are not happy.....

Whichever I would do it quickly as its leaving them a bit in the lurch otherwise....

[Mouse]

Its twice a week. One was Friday 4-4.30pm but my mum was taking her but now its 5.30-6.00pm on a Monday which she can't do and the mindees go at 6.30pm!! Then the other daughter is changing to a wednesday 5.00-5.30pm and she used to be Saturday so it was never a problem. I have a lot of help from my parents and we have been trying to sort out a rota but there are some days they just can't help with and I don't want to rely on them all the time!!

I know its unprofessional but they only do it term time and an email went put the beginning of the summer holidays but their teacher had old email address and because she did not hear from me to confirm that I was ok she called Friday to tell me. So since then have been trying to work out how I can do this without having a nervous breakdown. I will also have a 1yr old until 6.30pm.

Another problem is I don't drive and with English weather I would feel guilty dragging them out in the rain!!


I think then you need to be honest with yourself - do you want to do the work or not? Presumably you're going to have to take the 1yr old out with you, who also leaves at 6.30pm, so using the reason of time & weather might not sound too convincing to the parents (ie. if you can do it for a baby, why not 2 older children?). I wouldn't use those as a reason to parents. Just say that due to a change in times of dance lessons, you're sorry but you're not going to be able to have the children now. It would help if you had some other cm's info to give them.

If you do want the work, perhaps see when your parents could help out and explain to parents that there will be times when their children have to be out & about, but you are trying to limit it.

[melco]

I have decided to try. I don't think its fair letting them down now when its only 4 days before they start with me.

Like I said they were supposed to contact me over a week ago when they got back from their holiday so that I could drop off the rest of the paperwork. So I have just text her and asked whether they are still starting with me on Wednesday and I just also wanted to let her know the times for my daughters ballet has changed so twice a week the children will need to come with. If everything is ok and she is still happy to go ahead I will pop the paperwork round. So will wait and see what reply I will get and also have the 4 week trial period which I have explained to the parents so if not working I will let them know.

Fingers crossed!!

[lynnfi]

I have decided to try. I don't think its fair letting them down now when its only 4 days before they start with me.

Like I said they were supposed to contact me over a week ago when they got back from their holiday so that I could drop off the rest of the paperwork. So I have just text her and asked whether they are still starting with me on Wednesday and I just also wanted to let her know the times for my daughters ballet has changed so twice a week the children will need to come with. If everything is ok and she is still happy to go ahead I will pop the paperwork round. So will wait and see what reply I will get and also have the 4 week trial period which I have explained to the parents so if not working I will let them know.

Fingers crossed!!

You could also point out that you are going to evaluate whether or not this situation is viable or not for everyone, and try it out for a few weeks to give it a chance to become a routine, than if it is too much for you you could give a 1 month notice...
Just a thought, as really from reading you I think you are forcing yourself to honor your words, which is great, but you took the decision based on wrong assumptions not dependent on you, so may be you should not blame yourself, but rather give it a simple try...

[melco]

Thank you.

Yes I am too nice, I can never say no to people!! So even though when I their Mum came to visit I was unsure whether I really wanted to take on after school children but she was so nice and said that she liked me and was happy to go ahead I was a bit shocked but just nodded my head in agreement!!

Then found out last week that the Ballet times had changed so I felt even more pressure. So like I said I don't want to let her down when we only have a few days before they start school so will try my best but will keep her updated with any problems I am finding and carry on even if its just while she finds someone else.

[mushpea]

I would just explain the situation to mum then give her the choice of either finding some one else or they going to ballet with you