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View Full Version : Major tantrum today!



ClaireDalli
20-08-2012, 03:21 PM
Hi everyone, I'm a newly registered childminder and have recently started looking after a little girl of 2.
We had our first trip out today to the park and coming home ran in to some issues; mum had advised me that little one likes to walk but when she gets tired she will go in the buggy. My daughter is 1 and was in my new double pushchair, my mindee walked to the park but on the way back had a massive tantrum, would not go in the buggy and did not want to walk. She kept throwing herself on the floor and basically having a massive tantrum.
I feel like I tried everything; distraction, ignoring it etc but to no avail. In the end I had to carry mindee most of the way home while pushing the chair! She was perfectly happy being carried but as soon as i put her back down it all started again!
Spoke to mum this eve, she says that she has had same problems and that she has to physically forse child into it kicking and screaming and that I can do the same if needs be!
Not entirely happy with this idea, particularly as when I tried to put her in today she kicked and scratched my daughter.
Ahhhhh! Help!

Velleity
20-08-2012, 04:24 PM
I think I'd want some sort of written acknowledgement/permission to put her into the pushchair like this before attempting it!

Not sure what to advise as an alternative though because there is just no reasoning with some children when they go into melt-down.

blue bear
20-08-2012, 04:27 PM
You need to take charge, she is telling you what is happening at the moment - you carry me or I will scream.
I think I would have taken my child out of buggy and strapped the two year old in and waited til she had calmed down and put my lo back In To walk home. When home written it up as an incident or physical intervention as it will be in September.

Be firm, get down to her level, explain what is happening and why and then just do it, you can't reason with a tantruming two year old, she just wants her own way which is perfectly normal at this age.

BucksCM
20-08-2012, 04:33 PM
I think put her in the buggy as you leave the park before she gets tired and goes into mentdown.
I certainly wouldn't be carrying her!!

marnieb
20-08-2012, 04:47 PM
Sorry - but no!!!!!

Don't pick up a tantruming child, they will expect it again from you. She basically got her own way!

Next time it happens, bend down, tell child you will count to three and put them in the buggy, end of. So what is people stare, do they all have perfect children??? ;)

nikki thomson
20-08-2012, 04:48 PM
Oh dear I can picture it now, my own children use to do the same but with the car seat you know when they won't bend in the middle!!!!, have to say I use to be quite forceful sometimes otherwise we'd be there all day, my friend and her ds were coming out with us last week and he refused point blank to get in the car seat his mum had him in and out the car, he was screaming etc this went on for 40 minutes, completely ridiculous and my 3 just sat in the car looking on in amusement.
Now I know it's different with other peoples children but you shouldn't be carrying her while pushing buggy, I'd start as I mean to go on and have her in from the start and just ignore her crys, if you pander to her now she knows if she just starts crying you'll give in and carry her, there very switched on even at that age. X

VeggieSausage
20-08-2012, 04:51 PM
Very difficult situation for you, I had a child that had the most major meltdowns I had ever experienced and would take half an hour before he calmed down and would be exhausted afterwards. You have to take charge and I agree with the advice about counting to 3 and then put them in the buggy regardless of their strop and follow through with it.....good luck!!!

BucksCM
20-08-2012, 04:52 PM
Sorry - but no!!!!!

Don't pick up a tantruming child, they will expect it again from you. She basically got her own way!

Next time it happens, bend down, tell child you will count to three and put them in the buggy, end of. So what is people stare, do they all have perfect children??? ;)

"LIKE"

She will soon learn that she can't press your "buttons" like her mum's. Two lo I look after behave SO differently when they are with their mum!! But they know I won't take any nonsense...I'm matter of fact when I tell them and don't take any ****. :D

ClaireDalli
22-08-2012, 03:24 PM
Hi, thanks for the suggestions! A friend of mine suggested getting a buggy board, don't know if anyone has any thoughts on this idea?
My other issue, which I perhaps should have mentioned is that lo has a hole in the heart. Mum said as initial meeting that it doesn't cause problems and that she needs no special treatment but I'm worried about causing her too much stress!
I will def jot a note to mum explaining the situation and ask for her written permission*to physically put child into the chair, can anyone suggest wording for this as I don't want to sound like abuse!
My plan for next time will be to put lo into buggy on the way to wherever we are going so that she's not tired and cranky. I'll then*count to three if she kicks off and then put her in and strap her down (while ignoring kicks and scratches!) I will then wait for her to calm down before putting my own child in (the only thing that concerns me here is that her tantrums last forever from past experience so we may end up waiting a long time before we set off)

Tazmin68
22-08-2012, 04:39 PM
Just a story to make you smile at the time I didn't but now don't care.

My youngest had a tantrum in the school playground he was 2 at the time and did not want the wrist strap put back on after the school bell went off and school is on a main road. He sat on the floor having a wobbly. A week later I had a phone call from an ofsted inspector who said that they had recieved an anonymous complaint about a toddler upset in the school playground and who did not want to get up from the ground said that it seemed a rather stupid complaint and not worth the fuel. I explained that it was my own son who did not want to go back on the wrist strap at the end of the school day and that the school was on a main road where in the previous year a reception child ran out of gates and was run over. Ofsted were fine with this but I always wonder who it was in the playground. They must have been so lucky in not having a child who has a tantrum!!!!

BucksCM
22-08-2012, 05:06 PM
Hi, thanks for the suggestions! A friend of mine suggested getting a buggy board, don't know if anyone has any thoughts on this idea?
My other issue, which I perhaps should have mentioned is that lo has a hole in the heart. Mum said as initial meeting that it doesn't cause problems and that she needs no special treatment but I'm worried about causing her too much stress!
I will def jot a note to mum explaining the situation and ask for her written permission*to physically put child into the chair, can anyone suggest wording for this as I don't want to sound like abuse!
My plan for next time will be to put lo into buggy on the way to wherever we are going so that she's not tired and cranky. I'll then*count to three if she kicks off and then put her in and strap her down (while ignoring kicks and scratches!) I will then wait for her to calm down before putting my own child in (the only thing that concerns me here is that her tantrums last forever from past experience so we may end up waiting a long time before we set off)

I might be reading too much into this but it sounds to me like this lo has got her own way all the time...I know mum says she's the same with her and that she's tried with her, but we all know what this means-most of the time-she tried a few times but couldn't stand upsetting her lo...as she has a hole in her heart. I know mum says she doesn't need special treatment but I bet she gets it...any parent would...it's always at the back of you mind if lo has a need.
I think you just need to be really firm, in your firm cm voice along with "the look" and she will learn that you won't have that sort of behaviour. It may take a little lime to sink in, but it will.

JCrakers
22-08-2012, 05:19 PM
See the problem with today's society is everyone is so quick to judge how we parent/ care.
Everyone sees a screaming child and thinks the worst. Kids cry- fact, just like dogs woof and cats meow :D

Kids scream when they can't get their own way but when we're in public we know everyone is watching and then we change the way we do things because we feel were being mean to the child.... lol

I wouldn't have carried, I would have asked first, then put her in buggy myself. I'm firm but fair and I feel the best way to approach anything is to make sure you stay in charge. You make decisions about what's right,wrong and safe.
I've had parents arrive without sun cream,Car seats because their lo didn't want to put it on today :rolleyes:
All the children I mind, all 15 of them are wonderful, well behaved kids who know the rules and this means they can all go forward in life happy.
Too many times have I had parents arrive and the kids have changed into monsters, screaming shouting and hitting parents just for parents to laugh it off.

BuggsieMoo
22-08-2012, 05:28 PM
My own DD (now 5) used to do this at times, I used to tickle her as I put her in the buggy as her natural reaction was to bend at the waist :-)

My story of this from my DS (7 now) was he was fab at walking too and from nursery (10 minute walk max) until one day he was in a foul mood. Walking to nursery, he threw himself down on the floor, kicking and screaming refusing to move......just as my hubbies CO (commanding officer) was walking around the corner. My response - thats OK L, you can stay there but M has to get to nursery and C & T to school so im going now and started to walk off very slowly (it was a little cul d sac and I could see him at all times). I told my others to ignore him (which they did). When he realised he was getting no reaction and mummy was getting further away he got up and ran to me then proceeded to walk to nursery like butter wouldnt melt.

Boris
22-08-2012, 06:36 PM
Little tinker! I would be getting down to her level and in a very calm, don't-mess-with-me voice, telling her that she will be getting into the buggy or next time we will not be going to the park!

BucksCM
22-08-2012, 07:42 PM
Little tinker! I would be getting down to her level and in a very calm, don't-mess-with-me voice, telling her that she will be getting into the buggy or next time we will not be going to the park!

"LIKE"
:thumbsup::D:thumbsup:

Maza
22-08-2012, 08:19 PM
You sound like a saint! Sounds like she was over tired after a good play in the park and couldn't keep her emotions in control. DD was a bit like this with the buggy and so I used to save her snack for the way home as a distraction - if she didn't sit in the buggy she couldn't have her snack/drink. I didn't see it as a bribe, just a way of avoiding a potentially exhausting situation. 'Terrible twos' tantrums are easier to deal with in the privacy of your own home, but the ones in public :panic:! Hope your poor DD is ok. x

ClaireDalli
05-09-2012, 03:24 PM
Thanks everyone for the advice, we've been out a few times since and today it seems like we have a breakthrough. She still puts up resistance to getting in the pushchair but today, on the way home, after 5 mins of grizzling she cheered *and actually seemed to be having a good time!

gegele
05-09-2012, 06:52 PM
choose a plan and stick to it!

carrying a tantruming child is not a plan though :D

ah aha h ah

good luck

Rosy Days
05-09-2012, 07:45 PM
You sound like a saint! Sounds like she was over tired after a good play in the park and couldn't keep her emotions in control. DD was a bit like this with the buggy and so I used to save her snack for the way home as a distraction - if she didn't sit in the buggy she couldn't have her snack/drink. I didn't see it as a bribe, just a way of avoiding a potentially exhausting situation. 'Terrible twos' tantrums are easier to deal with in the privacy of your own home, but the ones in public :panic:! Hope your poor DD is ok. x

This is what I do, I always have a juice and a little snack handy, I find it usually works and gets them into the buggy happily without tantrums especially if they are at the park. Tantrums can be sooo stressful and exhausting, hope things get better :) x

miffy
05-09-2012, 07:51 PM
Thanks everyone for the advice, we've been out a few times since and today it seems like we have a breakthrough. She still puts up resistance to getting in the pushchair but today, on the way home, after 5 mins of grizzling she cheered *and actually seemed to be having a good time!

That's great news - how is she with mum?

Miffy xx

PixiePetal
05-09-2012, 07:58 PM
glad you are having some progress :thumbsup:

reminds me of my own DD :rolleyes: She was 2 and wanted me to buy a Halloween mask in September from a stand placed at the entrance to supermarket. I said no but she was having none of it and threw a wobbly on the floor! This was bad in itself but at the time I was 6 months pregnant and had my left wrist in plaster cos I had fallen and broken it a few weeks before.

I had her on reins and dragged her back to the door kicking and screaming :o

I needed the shopping so when she had calmed down we had a little chat, she apologised and I managed to shop :thumbsup:

DS did it once too in same supermarket, after his screaming and crying he asked for a cuddle - this was always his way of backing down:rolleyes: at the checkout a 'kind' customer said - 'poor lad he only wants a cuddle'! my friend was behind me and gave the customer a piece of her mind for not knowing the whole story!

They have both grown into pleasant, polite and caring adult and teen :thumbsup: