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View Full Version : Should I charge my friend?!!



smurfette
10-08-2012, 07:33 PM
Ok ok I know that everyone says don't work for a friend but a close friend of mine who used to be a childminder has got another job and has asked me to do some after school care for her son.

We used to almost co mind when she was also minding and she parents and minds very similarly to me, and her son and my middle daughter are very close. He gets now well with all my girls and is used to younger ones being around. He practically lives here anyway! He is no bother and I wouldn't be afraid to discipline him and tell her so if necessary. He is 8. I have also said i will tell her if I am not happy it is working out and we won't fall out over it

What she needs is one or two hours after school probably three times a week. She wants to pay me and has asked my rate and I have said my normal rate .. My hubby doesnt think I should do it at all or at least not charge in case we fall out but I have committed to her to do It now

On the one hand I would rather not charge her and on the other I think it puts a professional slant on it. Her job is such that I think she may find herself caught up in it and not collecting when she has said she will, and her timekeeping is atrocious as she is used to just pleasing herself (she is a single mum). I would never ever expect she would take advantage of me but paying me makes sure she doesn't take the **+* with it and if she is late I am not gonna resent it, also he is a big eater so will prob eat me out of house and home! I wouldn't choose to take him on as an extra child as I have enough to be going on with and his Hours won't be enough to replace anyone else so it's an extra body in the house


What do you guys think? Discount/full rate or no charge? I often have him for an afternoon to help and wouldn't mind that but this is regular

samb
10-08-2012, 07:42 PM
I personally would do it and charge as usual. Sounds like you have the benefit of him being used to it all and your friend being understanding too. Sounds great! Like you say, he is 8 and eats a lot - I definitely think you are justified in charging.

bunyip
10-08-2012, 07:54 PM
Personally I'd do it. I think the key is in what you already said, just so long as you stick to it:
"I have also said i will tell her if I am not happy it is working out and we won't fall out over it."

loocyloo
10-08-2012, 08:14 PM
i minded my best friends children for 4 years in total, it was always fine for us we are very similar in our ways. it was a business arrangement and that was that. outside of my minding her children, they came to play, mine went to play at her house and i went with mindees to play at her house.

i've moved and her youngest wants to move next door as he misses coming to play! (they've been to stay and we've since stayed with them!)

smurfette
10-08-2012, 08:25 PM
i minded my best friends children for 4 years in total, it was always fine for us we are very similar in our ways. it was a business arrangement and that was that. outside of my minding her children, they came to play, mine went to play at her house and i went with mindees to play at her house.

i've moved and her youngest wants to move next door as he misses coming to play! (they've been to stay and we've since stayed with them!)

S

And did you charge usual fees?

Thanks guys for all the responses!

madmamma
10-08-2012, 08:35 PM
I charged my sister - that must make me sound really mean ;)

The way I/we looked at it, I am a business that provided a service she needed, she could have paid and sent her to someone that didn't know my niece, or she could get extra piece of mind for the same rate by sending her to me...
I knew my sister, I knew her 'morals' as a person not just as a relative, and I made it quite clear that I am not related when it comes to business matters. Thankfully, in that instance it worked.
I refused to do the same for a close friend, because I knew what she was like, and I know she would have tried to take advantage - as indeed she did with the minder she went with in the end.

You'll know how 'firm' you need to be, you know if you're 'strong' enough to do what's needed, and how that's going to be received, so if your relationship is strong enough go for it. If you feel there's a chance it may not be, then don't :thumbsup:

Gizmo
10-08-2012, 08:37 PM
I also minded my best friends dd for years and I charged her the same and never treated her any different, was always funny when we where going out thenwe both shook off the professional image and where just us again lole

Chatterbox Childcare
10-08-2012, 08:40 PM
You are a business and your friend realises that so I would charge BUT as a business she is the client and entitled to complain/compliment as any other parent and this is where things come unstuck, arguments happen and your hubby is seeing this

I cannot see why you cannot charge if the conditions are set and clear.

Sorry if that sounds muddled

gegele
11-08-2012, 12:39 AM
charge full price. she was a minder she knows the drill. keep money clear and your friendship will be safe

clareelizabeth1
11-08-2012, 07:12 AM
I looked after by brothers child and charged full rates in fact I was probably more harsh with him than with other parents, may be because I know him to well though. I also found I had to be stricter of LO for a while as before that she had only ever seen fun aunt Clare who would dose her up with choc and sweets before sending her home to parents. It did work out but even though it went smoothly I would not do it again looking after family just seams more draining. I am dreading my LO growing up as even though not born yet I can see him being a little terror while I'm minding lol.

miffy
11-08-2012, 08:28 AM
When I first started I worked only for friends - I charged all of them the same and kept things business like. Their children are all grown up now and we are all still friends.

Miffy xx

loocyloo
11-08-2012, 08:28 AM
S

And did you charge usual fees?

Thanks guys for all the responses!

yes, usual fees and everything as for any other family. for my working hours they were one of my minded families, out of the the hours i was minding the children they were friends. i knew my friend respected what i did and wouldn't mess me around.
i have minded for several other friends on a short term basis and that was fine. only one friend did i say i couldn't help, and that was because i knew she & her child would be a nightmare :blush: and i wanted to keep the friendship! ( i just said i didn't have the space! )

barbarella68
11-08-2012, 10:05 AM
I childminded my Nephew for 4 years he goes to school in September and Icharged my Brother and his wife.I did let them off certain things like no payment for bank holidays and a few other things but I am a business. My brother plastered my bathroom and charged me.lol

smurfette
12-08-2012, 08:23 AM
Thanks guys that's made me feel better! Yes you are right hubby is worried if there is an issue That obviously she would then have right to complain but to be honest she spends hours in the week at our house and we both sort each others kids out and get cross if necessary but I guess he hasnt really seen this as he is mostly at work!

Will not charge her for bank hols etc thsts a good idea, it will be some nice extra money wont be depending on it., just really to formalise things. Thank you all so so much!!