View Full Version : experience for own children?

12-06-2008, 09:05 AM
Hi there,

I assume a lot of minders have their own kids in the house while minding others.
Have you found that this is a positive experience for your kids? I would imagine it is as they have friends to play etc, but I think it might also be hard for them at times to share their home, mom/dad, toys etc.... any advice or stories you could share of your own experiences?


12-06-2008, 09:06 AM
Hi there,

I assume a lot of minders have their own kids in the house while minding others.
Have you found that this is a positive experience for your kids? I would imagine it is as they have friends to play etc, but I think it might also be hard for them at times to share their home, mom/dad, toys etc.... any advice or stories you could share of your own experiences?


Thats a question i worry about x

12-06-2008, 09:12 AM
I started when I had my first child who is soon to be 5yrs he's a very sociable child so loved the company and having someone to play with every day. But he was a typical mummy's boy and loved his cuddles so sometimes it did get a bit difficult if I had to do something with a mindee changing nappy, cuddles for them but we managed and it has taught him to more considerate and kind to others. My 2nd child is 2yrs old so is at a difficult age were he wants everything but again is very sociable and enjoys having a playmate, he is learning to the same as the mindee so it helps having someone there to learn with making it fun.

12-06-2008, 09:14 AM
I have 4 children. My eldest is 13 and my youngest is 1 and I have been minding for 6 months.

I only mind for 0 - 5 on the whole except for a boy who is 7 who only comes 1 hour before school each day.

My kids have taken to it really well but then as there are of them, they are used to sharing everything anyway!

I think my 1 year old has benefited loads.

She missed the older children while they were at school but now she has playmates of her own age everyday.

Also, I do far more with the children as a result of childminding. EG arts, crafts, cooking etc. We always do something everyday whereas I might not do so if it wasnt for the minded children. And I cant have an I cant be bothered day and miss toddlers as it is part of my job to go now!

My 10 year old clashes with the 7 year old mindee which is becoming an issue for me. I dont know how the older ones would be if I minded older ones throughout the holiday.

12-06-2008, 09:17 AM
I have 4 children of my own aged 9, 8, 6 and 4 and I've been minding for 10 months now.

My children are used to sharing with each other so thats never been an issue. On the whole it's been a positive experience so far.

I purposely didn't get my childrens bedrooms registered so they had their own spaces to escape to when I'm working. My eldest has the playstation in his and the girls have a tv and video. That way if they want to go and do their own thing they can. It's important that your own children have that.

I'm also quite strict about toys. My children have their own toys then we have "share toys". My children have learnt that if it's their they need to keep it in their bedroom so the mindees don't touch. Anything in the lounge/garden/toy shelves are "share toys" this means anyone can play with them.

I'm fortunate that my children aren't materialistic so they class pretty much everything as a share toy, sometimes I'm the possesive one and think that somethings shouldn't be shared!

As for sharing me, my youngest got a bit jealous to start with but he soon got over it. I've been a lot happier since I've been minding, as a single mum it's the only household income and I wasn't working before. I'm a lot less stressed about life in general because I don't have to worry about money etc. I can now afford to treat my children more often and since I've been working we have a lot better quality of life. This in turn has had a positive impact on my children so they don't mind me having extras around all the time.

Sorry I rambled a bit there! :D

12-06-2008, 09:19 AM
Most of the time my children love it. They are 11, 9 and 2 and a half. They are told that they can keep toys that they dont want to share in their own room and to be honest there is nothing they dont want to share. They can go to their room and be away from the madness, my eldest does this a lot. I have always told them that I work this way so I can be there for them too and I am able to take them and pick them up from school, attend all the concerts etc and if I didnt do this I would have to go out to work and someone else would have to look after them. Other than the youngest going through a stage of "MY MUMMY", my train, my whatever at the moment I cant think of anything negative enough to mention. I have always managed at least one afterschool session a month where they have been able to have a friend to play and their friends parents are great at saying they understand and are quite happy for it to be a bit one-sided about playing at their houses.

12-06-2008, 09:21 AM
A was going to add that, as I pointed out to my 10 year old this morning, doing this job enables me to be here 24/7 for my children which is really important to me. It means that they can still do after school activities, have their friends round, eat dinner as a family, etc. None of these things would be possible if I went out to work and they ended up in childcare themselves.

I also didnt get their bedrooms registered so that they still have their own personal space and that they can keep toys that are special to them out of the way.

12-06-2008, 09:24 AM
so far my children really enjoys having the mindees here, i have only started two weeks ago though.
Its nice for them to have someone to play with, i have toys especially for childminding and my own childrens toys (that they don't want to share) are in their bedroom.
I also find that im doing more activities with my children than i would normally do so that can only benefit your children.

12-06-2008, 09:28 AM
My children loved it when they were tiny and were very good at sharing

I never ever had any problems

Is there a reason for your question - do you have your own little ones ? Are you worried they are going to find it difficult ?

Angel xx

12-06-2008, 09:33 AM

the reason I was asking is my little daughter. She is now 5 months old and although we go to playgroups and have loads of friends with kids she really never had to share me or her toys with anyone. I just wondered what the impact of having other kids around would be.
Personally I think it is very imporatant for her to learn to share and be able to play with other kids but I thought it might be good to hear experiences of other moms

Thanks for all the great replies so far

12-06-2008, 09:36 AM
That is a lovely age for her to be learning to share with others

She will love having other children around to keep her company I bet

I also bet the children will love your baby and will enjoy helping you with her

Good luck

Angel xx

12-06-2008, 10:21 AM
My children used to have the odd moan over sharing me... but I reminded them that at least I was always home and they weren't being sent off to a childminder or after school club themselves!

Their toys went in their bedrooms if they were precious and mindees only go upstairs when invited - that's been a rule since day one and solved a lot of problems over the years.

I used to have issues with the exhusband over keeping the house tidy and having his dinner on the table and what did I do all day and why was I so tired, but those went away when I divorced him LOL!

My children have definitely benefitted from me being here and minding - my son is registered disabled and I would never have held down a job anyway the amount of time I would have had to take off for him... they share really well and enjoy the company of little ones even now... my dd would like to work with children and says that's because she's seen me doing it...

Lots of plusses that far outweigh the negatives :D

12-06-2008, 10:55 AM
My kids 15 & 12 have been brillant ive been doing it for 10yrs so they grown up with me childminding :)

12-06-2008, 12:06 PM
Both Charley and Mitchell are used to other children being here and really miss them when they have time off. I thinkit's benefited them both hugely as we are always doing things and I know if I wasn't minding I wouldn't do half as much.
Plus I'm always here for them when they need me, something I regret when I had my elder son, I went out to work then and we both missed out I think.

Someone commented on how well Mitchell knew his numbers and colours recently and I know it's down to me minding and him listening to me with the others

Carol xx

12-06-2008, 01:17 PM
I have 3 boys aged 12, 8 and 2.5 years and they have been fine with other children being in the house.
Although my eldest complains that the 'midgets' which he calls them, talk too much! He asks me if I can shut them up!:D

12-06-2008, 01:27 PM
I think 5 months is a good age to start, I'm sure she will learn to share her toys and you with no problem!

My older children have loved me minding the little girl I have, they think she's fab! There is just 4 months between my youngest daughter and my mindee and I think that having another child at home with her has done good as her big sisters often give her everything she demands! They aren't too keen on the after school boys but I think that's because they're a lot rougher and noisier (on the whole, although my girls can be pretty loud themselves!) and they're boys!! I don't have them every day though so it hasn't been a big issue.

12-06-2008, 01:40 PM
my children have grown up with me childminding, I started when ds was 18 months old, he's now 6 and never have I had a crossed word about work, he seems to understand why I do this job

My dd was 6months when I started after having her (nearly 4 ekkk) again and I can see a huge difference in how she has grown up always having someone around, she is th emost social little thing I know:laughing: . She gets very bored if for any reason it's just me and her (which is rare tbh, like now mindies asleep so she want to watch dvd) even though I offered to do anything, but then we don;t have to tv on much whislt I'm working so she knows to get it in know lol

sorry ramble! 5 months is a fab age for you to start:thumbsup:

12-06-2008, 03:30 PM
My 10 year old son loves the children, he is very helpful and spends his time playing with the little ones. My youngest son who is 8 regressed into a baby when i first started minding LOL taking soft toys into his bed, crawling around the floor ect, He gets a bit jealous but he slowly getting used to the children

Straws x

12-06-2008, 04:40 PM
I had 2 children when I started minding DS was 8 and DD1 was 3. DD1 is a very sociable child and loved having the mindees there however old they were or whether they were boys of girls. DS didn't like most of them, certain ones he liked others, he outright hated being there. I did not use upstairs for minding although it was registered which allowed my children (and dog) a place to escape to if they needed it.

Now DS is 16 and not worried about me doing it again. DD1 (nearly 11) cannot wait she just likes playing with children of any age still & DD2 (4) just wants "lots of little children so I can help".

It can be hard when your children want their friends round to play and you have to check to see if you are within your numbers for that day before you can say yes. I think that was one of the reasons DS took it so hard last time as I did not want hoards of his mates in the house while I was working and he could not play on his PS as then the mindees wanted to play too (we only had one tv).