Letting own children to play

[Ant_h18]

At what age would you let you own children (girls) out to play on their own.
Just a bit curious as someone brought this topic up to me.

[cathtee]

Me personally wouldn't let mine out on there own until they were at high school, when mine were at school i let them walk to school on there own at year 6 but only because i was going down there and could shadow them and know that they had got there. I know we have to let children grow up, but a friend of mine allows her 10 yr old out on his bike and was only 50 yrds from home and 2 older kids tried to steel it off him,:panic: i dread to think of what may of happened if he was further away and couldn't get back to the house (which he managed to do)

[singingcactus]

My twins went out playing at age 3, we lived in an area that made this workable as there was always one of us adults out in the front yard on the estate. My youngest.....I don't know if it will ever happen. He is a flake. He would walk round the corner and be lost! If he even made it round the corner without walking under a bike!

[Ant_h18]

That's what the person said we have to let them grown up. as there were saying that they know someone who lets their kids play outside aged 4, 5, and 7

[Pipsqueak]

The road in live in is pretty quiet and i have a field at the back of me and I can see/hear the children from my home.

I have let James at 7 go playing in the street and round the field but no further

Robert (now 14) was allowed out at 8 and out of all my kids he is/was the most the sensible, mature, concientious.
harry started going out at 8 with Rob

[EmmaReed84]

It depends on the child really... I would not let my son out and he is 6.5... I can't even see me letting him out in the next few years. However my nephew has been going out to play since he was 6 but he is a lot "older" IYKWIM.

[Trpta108]

I think it depends very much on the child and where they live.
My eldest two were about 9 or 10 (when we moved out of London), but my 3rd went out by himself at 7 with a mobile phone so I could call every 10 min:)

[Kiddleywinks]

I also think a lot of it depends on age, child maturity and also where you live...

Before we moved we lived on the main road into our estate which also led straight to the local shop, so traffic was a major problem hence neither of mine were allowed out the front.
When we moved to our current house, a very quiet cul-de-sac, my eldest was allowed out as far as the red bricks (2 house length from our house to them), she was coming up for 7 at the time, and very sensible. My youngest was only allowed if I was out there too, until he was the same age.

They were allowed into the other cul de sac's from 9, nearly 10, and then allowed to the local park (5 mins away) the summer holidays they left primary, (with a cheapo mobile and not allowed to go on their own.)

At 13, DD wanted to go into town (10 mins) with her mates - I was terrified of letting her go, so I sat her down, explained what my concerns were - not so much her being irresponsible, but the possibility of the others she was going with being so, and of course the whole stranger danger thing, so we came up with a compromise. She had to text me every 5 mins, when she changed location she had to text me, and whilst she wasn't happy about it, ('oh muuuuum!') she did it, as time went on it increased to every 10, 15, 20 and then 30 mins. Now at almost 16, she lets me know whenever she changes her location with where she's heading to and via which route, then lets me know when she's there.

It's hard to strike a balance between them being free to spread their wings, learn to be independent, and keep themselves safe, whilst at the same time, not have me walking on eggshells till they get back :laughing:

[mushpea]

My daugher was allowed out with her friend and her friends older sister when she was 9years on the agreement they stayed on the estate we live on and that they stayed together. we live on a estate that you dont have to cross roads to get around.
My son is 11yrs and I do let him out somtimes as he has to become independant but I find it hard as he is so gullable at times and just goes in to a world of his own.
so as others have said it dose depend where you live and the child themselves.

[~Grasshopper~]

never lol

my 8 year old girl mindee plays out till 9-10pm:eek: and crosses roads ect, this week she has been telling me they have to look after 3 and 4 yr olds that play out with them:panic:, it scares the life out of me.

x

[caz3007]

My son is nearly 10 and has no interest in going out to play. He isnt friends with any local children and refuses to go to the letterbox around the corner for me, but hey ho at least I know what he is up to and that he is safe.

I have started insisting he goes into school by himself, I can watch, but he has to leave me half way down the alley, just cos he is going into year 5 and needs to be a little independant.

We are going camping in a couple of weeks and we have stayed on this site before and the loo block is in the middle, cant see him even going there on his own :panic:

[Happy Bunny]

I can't let mine out on there own as I live on a busy road.
My 9 year old had been asking to walk to school on her own, but i'm not willing to let her do that yet. Apparently I'm mean LOL but none of her friends do it yet.

[samb]

Glad this has come up. My dd is almost 7 and very sensible but I wouldn't let her out on her own - she wouldn't want to either - and I live in a quiet cul-de-sac. However there are 5 girls from her school that live in the same road as each other and they all go out to play - they are all younger than her and from those that I know, they are not as aware as my dd of certain dangers, the road although a cul-de-sac is a steep hill to the bottom where they play on a corner. I used to mind one of them who is 5 and her mum has said she doesn't want to let her out but feels she has to so she can remain friends with the rest that do.

I feel lucky I haven't got that sort of peer pressure here and sad that they have. It does scare me - a teenage boy in the same road had to be air lifted to hospital when he was knocked off a bike there!

[sonyach]

Hi, I don't let my 5 year old out we have a back garden and happily welcome her friends in. she has two older sisters and often asks if she can go out with them but I don't think its fair to put that responsibility on them. Also children do not develop road sense until their 12 years old, they cannot judge speed and distance correctly, so its not worth the risk. I used to play out when I was far to young and would go for miles and especially go to places my parents told me not too!!:eek:

[nikki thomson]

My own children arn't old enough or intrested in playing out but in the next year my oldest who will be 9 in oct will be encouraged to start going out on his own.
You have to start giving them some responsibility as when they start senior school they have to get them selfs to school and back on there own, and where we live that involves either getting a bus or a train depending on what school they go to and they need to beable to do this on there own and have the confidence to do it, I think we wrap our children up in cotton wool far to much these days.
Everyone is so worried that there children will be taken but the truth is there arn't really any more weirdo's around now than 30yrs ago it's just we're more aware now than we were then and it is still extremely rare for a child to be taken, we've all become abit obsessed I think. X

[Bluebell]

It depends where you live and on your children.

I let my 2 boys play out as there is an area between mine and the neighbours houses that is all pedestrianised and prretty enclosed. The children sit on the paving or on steps along the walkways reading books or playing dolls and teddies(I know - even my boys join in) or they ride their bikes and scooters. There are arches under the houses that are rights of ways but the only people that use them are the people that live here so it is very quiet.

The children sit under the arch if its a bit rainy on blankets. My youngest is nearly 5 and is not allowed out on his own. My eldest is 7. When I am minding I don't let them go out for very long because I can't keep an eye on them. Most children have the run of the estate but my children have to stay within the immediate vicinity so I know where they are. They are not allowed to cross the road or play in the car park. They are not allowed to go to the play area as this involves crossing a road, albeit a quiet no-through road onto the (smallish) estate. They're also not allowed to talk to strangers or go in other peoples houses and a whole load of other safety rules. I was quite shocked when I first moved here that children as young as 3 roam with no supervision and have the run of the estate and I wouldn't let my eldest play out until he was nearly 7 but now my 4 year old plays out with him so maybe I am a little less rigid now or maybe I trust my children to follow all my rules (well at the moment anyway)

I frequently look out on them and check on them and also they are usually with children of similar /slghtly older ages so I feel I know where they are. I also know a lot of the people on this side of the estate who look out on the children. One of the older children asked if they could go to tescos which is off the estate and across the main road by pelican crossing but its quite tricky getting into tescos because then you have to cross the access road and the car park so I said no. When I walk home from school I have started saying to my eldest he can go on ahead and cross the pelican crossing and get home on his own and unlock the door. I want him to have some sense of road safety.

Definately a tricky one. Its also dependant on what environment your children are used to - I grew up on farm so had free range but I would be petrified to let my kids go wild in a rural situation because they have no concept of all the dangers - rivers, silage pits, animals, farm machinary etc etc...