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handeme
01-08-2012, 12:01 PM
I have a 23 month old mindee who started with me in April.

When he initally came he was upset off and on when settling in but only for a couple of weeks.

After this time he was happy and enjoyed his time here.

Mum is not having a great time with him at home wont settle, screaming unless with mum, won't sleep in his own bed and generally falls asleep whilst in bed with mum or asleep next to mum on the sofa and not till late at night.

He did used to attend a nursery, mum was always told he went to sleep on a mat which I find hard to beleive.

Anyway the last couple of weeks he has screamed when mum brought him and when i lay him down for a nap he screams and gets very upset until he finally falls asleep. He did used to always fall asleep when we had quiet time after lunch.

This morning he arrived screaming wouldnt let go of mums leg and since this time has been up and down with his screamining and upset, he wont play and if I move away from him he screams, if any of the other children approach him he screams, so not ideal for all of us.

He spends two seperate days a week with me and the rest of the time with Grandma.

Nothing has changed here, still very much the same.

Mum has tried controlled crying at home but gives up because of the upset (mum is a single parent and no Dad in the picture).

I beleive that if we were all working towards the same routine that we could get him settled but this wont happen, I have tried with mum to say I want to help but its not improving.

I really want to help mum and dont want to loose him but I can't see anything working. Any advice, tips?

x

sarah707
01-08-2012, 05:27 PM
Like you say consistency is the key.

Why not write down some positive behaviour strategies you are using for mum to try at home.

Reassure mum that very few children want to go to a childminder - they would much rather be at home - but they do need to learn to cope so she is doing the right thing by being strong and leaving him.

It might help if she is positive about the time he is having with you - any negativity can damage a child's view of where they are going.

Hopefully it's a phase that passes soon :D