Telling a parent your giving notice!

[Libby08]

Might be a silly question but how do you tell a parent your giving notice? Do you call them in for a 'meeting' or do you just tell them at drop off times? I've been unhappy with a child/parent for a while but I don't think they will see it coming, I'm also not sure how they will react. I was going to tell mum this morning but I just didn't know how to bring the subject up! I hate doing things like this, am I just being a big wimp? :o

[Libby08]

Just to add, when I say I don't know how they will react I don't think they will get angry or anything but I think they may try to make me feel guilty and persuade me to change my mind.

[karensmart4]

It's not a silly question, when Mum comes to pick up ask her if she has a few moments as you'd like to talk to her. Tell her that you are sorry but you need to give 4 weeks notice... you don't have to give a reason but she will want to know why...you can say 'personal reasons'. Then give her the notice in writing.

It is very hard when you have to do this, but if it's for the best you need to do it sooner rather than later.

[EmmaReed84]

I agree, wait until parent collects. If I was a parent and dropped my child off and got a bombshell of being given notice while I was about to go to work my mind would be in overdrive.

Again as Karensmart4 says, I would just say it is personal reasons, that it is not a reflection on them, but something you need to do. I would also have a letter ready to hand over and get parent to sign to say she has received it.

Hope it all goesok

[Libby08]

Thank you, I think my prob is that the parents only drop off in the morning and grandparents pick up. I will ask in the morning if she could pick up instead of grandparents or arrive early for a chat, I'm thinking she may suspect what I'm going to do if I ask this. I did say to H that I can't do it in the morning as it would be unfair to her worrying about it at work then he reminded me that she has never given a though to my feelings when dropping a few bombshells on me at morning drop offs! We have to stay proffesional though don't we!

[hectors house]

You could ring her in the evening, that way can avoid face to face and then confirm arrangements in writing. Would it soften the blow if you gave her a list of other childminders with vacancies?

Don't forget any period of notice shouldn't contain any holidays on either side, unless parent wants shorter notice period and you want to finish looking after child sooner (it can be very stressful working out notice) - but remember to put that it was parents idea to have shorter notice in the letter, so they can't come back complaining of breach of contract and get them to write confirming the date of last session child will be attending.

I did all of the above once when I was trying to settle in a child with learning difficulties, I felt that alot of his behaviour was because he was allowed to get away with things at home, I extended the settling in period and in the end rang to give notice - because the child didn't walk, I had hurt my shoulder and neck lifting him all of the time and gave this as the reason.

I almost considered giving up childminding because I was so worried about giving notice to this child as was worried would be discrimination on grounds of his special needs. I did find another childminder who had experience of special needs and learning difficulties but unfortunately she didn't get any support from parents and only looked after him for 6 months also.

So make a script of what you want to say so you can refer to it if you get stuck for words on the phone and plan to do it before end of week.

Good luck

[smurfette]

Best of luck with it, I know it makes you feel sick thinking about it but once you give the notice the feeling of relief is unreal, and your life will
Be so much easier once parent and child are gone. Think phone is a good idea you could say you wouldn't choose to do it on the phone but you know she is rushed in the mornings and since she doesn't collect herself felt it best to talk in the evening. Good luck and hope a nicer family come along really soon!

[jumping j]

I've just given notice and had to do it by letter, grandparents always dropped off/collected and I hardly ever saw mum or dad. both parents work random hours so I couldn't phone them in an evening, I did manage to mention to dad one evening that I wouldn't have much time to have lo's (ad hoc contract) but he didn't seem interested. I just did a standard letter saying due to personal reasons i would no longer to be able to care for their lo's. enjoyed working with them and would miss the lo's and good look for the future.
It didn't go over well and mum has made it quite personal so I'm quite glad they're not using the 4 weeks notice period.

[Libby08]

So I have tried to talk to mum at drop offs to see if we can chat but she has been dropping and rushing off before I get a chance! I've thought about it and decided to do it by letter, I will give the letter to grandparents tonight and tell them it's
important that the parents get it tonight, them I cab talk to mum in the morning with out worrying about dropping a bombshell on them. My sil is a cm too and said she gives notice by letter (not that she's done it lots). H thinks I'm overthinking it all and I actually agree, he gets annoyed as I've ended up in tears over a few things they have dropped on me in the past few months and I've always stayed polite and proffesional and not shown them its upset me ! I'm 100% sure I want to give notice I just don't want to do it the wrong way!

[BlondeMoment]

I've had to do this quite recently. See my post 'Anyone ever had one like this'. I felt quite bad about it but I'm glad it's done. Be brave :)

[smurfette]

Sounds like a good plan! Good luck

[Stapleton83]

Good luck, it sounds like you have a plan of action.

It will probably be fine it's often far better than you expect it to be.

Sam x

[Libby08]

Hi, sorry I didn't come back sooner.

I did it! It was horrible! They did think they could change my mind saying they would suddenly be able to change hours, get help from family (after saying they 100% couldn't budge for the last year) and a few other things I won't go into. They weren't rude or angry and I hope they understood, it was mainly horrible for me as they made me feel extremely guilty and really dug into my reasons and plans etc so I was constantly explaining myself and it was actually exhausting! I knew it would be like that and its why I put it off for too long! Anyway, its done now and I'm very pleased so thank you for the advise, I needed an extra push to do it! Thanks again!

[smurfette]

Well done you!!! Never easy but you have done it and it does feel good afterwards doesn't it? ! Sorry to hear they laid the guilt on you good job for standing firm!

[mummyemma]

Hi all, I was having a read to try and gain some advice and spotted this old thread. I am in a situation where I want to give notice. I'm feeling very frustrated and angry/up tight after nearly a year of a relationship that just doesn't work. I have tried all sorts with mother and child and am always left feeling grrrr (if you know what I mean). There has been a nail in the coffin moment for me over a small suggestion (putting feelers out) of paying pro rata. I have remained calm and not replied yet, took much will power I can tell you. So long and short of it how do I go about giving notice, we are obviously at the start of the summer hols and I work term time only. I read on the back of the contract (PACEY) not to give notice during holidays, am I on holiday ?. I'm hoping the answer is no and I can give notice during the hols and never see the woman again tbh. There is the matter of deposit too She is eaither entitled to 4 weeks free child care or her deposit back ! What is the right thing to do guys ? Doing my head in.

Thanks in advance
Emma

[bunyip]

Hi all, I was having a read to try and gain some advice and spotted this old thread. I am in a situation where I want to give notice. I'm feeling very frustrated and angry/up tight after nearly a year of a relationship that just doesn't work. I have tried all sorts with mother and child and am always left feeling grrrr (if you know what I mean). There has been a nail in the coffin moment for me over a small suggestion (putting feelers out) of paying pro rata. I have remained calm and not replied yet, took much will power I can tell you. So long and short of it how do I go about giving notice, we are obviously at the start of the summer hols and I work term time only. I read on the back of the contract (PACEY) not to give notice during holidays, am I on holiday ?. I'm hoping the answer is no and I can give notice during the hols and never see the woman again tbh. There is the matter of deposit too She is eaither entitled to 4 weeks free child care or her deposit back ! What is the right thing to do guys ? Doing my head in.

Thanks in advance
Emma

I would always advise you check with your legal team (presumably Pacey?) first, just to avoid any mistakes. Having done that, and unless they advise otherwise......

Issue written notice, as per the contract. There is no need to give a reason, unless you're giving less than the proper notice period (I.e. If you were giving immediate notice, you're obliged to say why: non-payment, unacceptable behaviour, etc.)

The matter of the deposit or four weeks' care will depend on precisely how that is written in the contract. Check this very carefully with your legal team. They will tell you if you can simply refund the deposit, or if the wording used means the client has the option to demand the four weeks' care instead.

The Pacey contracts 'holiday notice' clause is commonly a contentious issue, and I do wish Pacey would make the wording more clear. I think it's frequently misinterpreted, though more usually by CMs demanding payment when a client gives notice.

My understanding is that you can give notice during the school holidays, even if you are closed, just so long as the client is not 'on holiday', as in 'away from home'. This is because the purpose and function of the notice period is to give the client/CM a reasonable period of time in which to find a replacement CM/client. Obviously they can't do that if you post the notice letter while they're away, so they only know when they get back from Ibiza. If you give notice now, they have the better part of six weeks in which to find childcare in time for next term. I see that as perfectly reasonable and fulfilling the purpose of the notice period. But, again, check with the legal team, as they may see things differently.

Personally, I would want to speak to the client and hand them the letter in person, but that's not always possible and I understand anyone who wouldn't feel up to the encounter.

[bunyip]

Hi all, I was having a read to try and gain some advice and spotted this old thread. I am in a situation where I want to give notice. I'm feeling very frustrated and angry/up tight after nearly a year of a relationship that just doesn't work. I have tried all sorts with mother and child and am always left feeling grrrr (if you know what I mean). There has been a nail in the coffin moment for me over a small suggestion (putting feelers out) of paying pro rata. I have remained calm and not replied yet, took much will power I can tell you. So long and short of it how do I go about giving notice, we are obviously at the start of the summer hols and I work term time only. I read on the back of the contract (PACEY) not to give notice during holidays, am I on holiday ?. I'm hoping the answer is no and I can give notice during the hols and never see the woman again tbh. There is the matter of deposit too She is eaither entitled to 4 weeks free child care or her deposit back ! What is the right thing to do guys ? Doing my head in.

Thanks in advance
Emma

I feel I should ask: are you absolutely resolved to end the arrangement, or could you be reconciled with the parents and continue to provide the service?

Out of curiosity, what do you mean by"a small suggestion (putting feelers out) of paying pro rata" ? In what way, pro rata?

[mummyemma]

Thanks for the reply bunyip I will ring the legal team for sure. To answer your question re why pro rata, I have one mum who pays this way as is teacher and that is how her salary is paid. Currently the mum I was previously referring to pays weekly, this is fine and is what was agreed at the start. However there have been a few occasions where there have been payment hiccups. I just thought I wonder if it would make sense for her to pay monthly, pro rata because I only work term time and charge half fee for all school hols. So I worked out the amount calculating all school hols (half fees) bank hols her 4day 5day weeks blah blah got the £££ divided by 12. This gives the monthly flat rate, so no fluctuation. Basically the mother has replied before she recived the spread sheet and thinks I've put my prices up ! Some one said could I resolve the issues. I probably could however I don't know if you've ever had one where every day you just get that uncomfortable feeling and you just can't shift it ! It hasn't cleared in nearly a year.

[bunyip]

Thanks for the reply bunyip I will ring the legal team for sure. To answer your question re why pro rata, I have one mum who pays this way as is teacher and that is how her salary is paid. Currently the mum I was previously referring to pays weekly, this is fine and is what was agreed at the start. However there have been a few occasions where there have been payment hiccups. I just thought I wonder if it would make sense for her to pay monthly, pro rata because I only work term time and charge half fee for all school hols. So I worked out the amount calculating all school hols (half fees) bank hols her 4day 5day weeks blah blah got the £££ divided by 12. This gives the monthly flat rate, so no fluctuation. Basically the mother has replied before she recived the spread sheet and thinks I've put my prices up ! Some one said could I resolve the issues. I probably could however I don't know if you've ever had one where every day you just get that uncomfortable feeling and you just can't shift it ! It hasn't cleared in nearly a year.

Understood. Thanks for the explanation.

I no longer offer to average fees out 'pro rata'. It amounts to me doing extra work for someone who can't be bothered to work out their own household budget for themselves, and invariably they argue at some point that I owe them money.

I also understand what it's like to have to occasional client who is so annoying they make your teeth itch.

[mummyemma]

Understood. Thanks for the explanation.

I no longer offer to average fees out 'pro rata'. It amounts to me doing extra work for someone who can't be bothered to work out their own household budget for themselves, and invariably they argue at some point that I owe them money.

I also understand what it's like to have to occasional client who is so annoying they make your teeth itch.

I like that "makes your teeth itch" can't stand it when people make you feel like you've done somthing wrong. Anyway thanks for your input.