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View Full Version : How to nicely ask for my money?!



venus89
16-07-2012, 05:29 PM
Long story short, I ignored what all the people here had said and Childminded for friends. They left owing £1265 in May, which I know they don't have, with promises of paying it back in instalments over the next however many months. Not seen a penny since then.

I'm trying to write a not too heavy handed email to encourage them to start to pay me back. I want to put a little pressure on them but not loads as, as I said, I'm well aware their financial situation is dire.

The email goes like this so far:

This is just to remind you that you still owe me £1265 from ****'s childcare. Since the final invoice was issued in May I have not seen a penny from you. I appreciate that you have had a rough patch since moving, which is why I've tried not to pressurise you about this debt, but I am disappointed that the small payments I was promised a couple of times a month to chip away the debt have not happened. August is a very quiet time for me work wise and I was relying on recieving a fair amount of the money you owe me by now.

Can I suggest that you work out a sum of money which you can pay me per week so that we can start to get the debt shifted? If you paid me £50 per week, for instance, the debt would be cleared by the beginning of January.




I can't get the small claims court involved as they can't pay it. And tbh I don't see our friendship surviving this at all. And the thing they did that really, really hurts is that they are the only people ever to have not said 'thank you' when their child left my care :(

Mouse
16-07-2012, 05:34 PM
I know you don't want to come across as heavy handed, but have you contacted your insurance company? I've never had to do it, but don't they sometimes pay the money to you then attempt to get it back from the parents?

Could you put in your letter that if they don't start paying something soon & stick to the agreement then they will leave you with no option other than to try & claim the money back through your insurance?

To be honest, it doesn't sound as if you're going to get anything from them unless you do get heavy handed :(

venus89
16-07-2012, 05:40 PM
Thanks for replying Mouse. I don't know! I don't know what to do. To be honest, if they'd had a go at paying me back and it had only been a hundred pounds I'd be happier but I resent the lack of communication about it. I'm gutted to lose a friendship over money and I could just let it go, it's not going to make a bug difference to me not getting the money, though if I do get it it would be great. I just don't know how to handle such a situation.

I suppose relistically even if they did pay £50 a week they'd probably do that for 2 weeks and then it would dry up.....

Mouse
16-07-2012, 05:46 PM
It's such an awkward situation isn't it?

Horrible as it sounds though, they're not very good friends if they left owing you that much money and are not making any attempt to pay you what is owed :( If I was the one who owed money I'd like to think I'd do everything I could to pay it back as quickly as possible.

Could you try phoning them and talking to them about it? I'd want them to at least be making some effort to pay.

venus89
16-07-2012, 05:49 PM
No phonecalls, I'm an emotional wreck this week - dd finishes primary (and is off to boarding school in Sept :eek:) and my mindee who's been with me since 5 months old is leaving as he's off to primary in September. I'll just cry if I talk to them!

I think you're right, throw in a mention of the legal team to see if that helps. What's really frustrating is that he's a handyman, we asked if he would give us a quote to do some work on the garden, figuring it would cost less than what they owe. We were going to ask him to do the work for free and forget the rest of the debt. But he never came back to us with a quote! Some people don't help themselves....

rickysmiths
16-07-2012, 05:53 PM
Well I am going to sound hard now.

You are not a charity. You have given them plenty of time to make arrangements as you say to pay small amounts.

It is kind of you to worry but have they run up a tab at Tesco? Do you know what they do for childcare now? Are they by any chance having a holiday?


I'm sorry but they ow you a great deal of money which you have said you can ill afford and they must pay you.

Don't email them. You need to write a firm letter.

I would say what they ow you. That having said you would accept payment by installment when they left you in May you have received nothing.

That you now really need payment to be made and you are willing to accept four payments of £315 one in July, August, September and October.

However if the first payment is not received by the end of July you will have no alternative but to put the matter in the hands of your solicitors.

If this happens you need to warn them that any action taken could have an effect on their credit rating.

You look forward to hearing from them.

Post the letter normal post or deliver it by hand.

If you hear nothing and there is no payment then I would send a letter on the 1st August by recorded delivery enclosing a copy of this first letter and informing them that you will now be taking legal advise on the matter.

In the mean while contact the Legal Department of your Insurers and see what they can do. My understanding is that if you are with MM they will repay you the money and recover the debt themselves. NCMA do things differently but have taken on new solicitors in the last two weeks who were very helpful when I rang them last week.

You really must step back and put your business hat on now. These people have treated you very badly and shown no respect or friendship. Put yourself and your family firmly first.

Mouse
16-07-2012, 05:54 PM
No phonecalls, I'm an emotional wreck this week - dd finishes primary (and is off to boarding school in Sept :eek:) and my mindee who's been with me since 5 months old is leaving as he's off to primary in September. I'll just cry if I talk to them!

....

Oh, bless you. I agree then, no phone calls!

I can't believe you've offered them a way out of their debt and they've still not done anything about it :(

venus89
16-07-2012, 06:00 PM
I agree RickySmiths that they're taking the Michael and have treated me badly. However, I'd like to try one more time to get them to try and come to some agreement before bringing in the big guns. They are genuinely struggling - no holidays etc - so I don't want to make that worse. However....

So maybe an email first, like the one above but I could remind them we're happy for him to do work in lieu and also mentioning that I will have to go to solicitor's if we can't come up with a solution.

I've handed in notice to my parents, I stop Childminding at the end of August (scary stuff) because I'm hoping to get a full time job at the Children's Centre where I currently temp two days a week - ironically this is the job that this lady has just left, I was her maternity cover 2 days a week and we job shared when she came back. We have so many mutual friends that I can't discuss the situation with as I'm trying to be professional when really I want to write on their Facebook pages 'when are you going to give me my money back?'!

Bridey
16-07-2012, 07:06 PM
Not having a holiday is not an indication of a GENUINE struggle! :rolleyes:

wendywu
16-07-2012, 07:44 PM
Venus if they were really worried then the husband would work off the debt for you.

But as he has not even attempted to then i assume they are not bothered at being fair and are relying on your so called friendship to stop you chasing the money.

So go out and get what is owed to you in money or work done :mad:

mrs c
16-07-2012, 08:14 PM
It's so much more difficult when its 'friends' who owe you money. However they are the ones who have abused your friendship. You minded for them so they could earn money and from their earnings they should have paid you, not built up a debt.
Send them an email if you like but personally I would do the firm letter and make sure you ask them to reply to you by a certain date. Also keep a copy of all communications. There is a good possibility that they won't get back to you though and if this happens then you need to get tough.
Try your insurance company but if they can't help then you can get the small claims court involved. I would think they will ask for any kind of payment to clear off the debt. I have used the online claims before and eventually got my money back at £150 a month. It was easy to do and the cost of doing the claim was added onto their debt.

hectors house
17-07-2012, 08:37 AM
If the husband is a handyman and you can find out who he is doing jobs for you can write to the customer and ask them to pay you instead it is called a Garnishee Order which is legal procedure by which a creditor (YOU) can collect what a debtor (PARENTS) owes by reaching the debtor's property when it is in the hands of someone other than the debtor. (or money owed to the parents by someone else).

When I worked for a builders merchants, an architect owed the company money - so when I wanted plans for an extension, I used the architect and then the builders merchants served a Garnishee order on me saying that I had to pay them direct the money that I owed the Architect. Can't remember now (as was 20 years ago) whether the builders merchants wrote me a letter or whether it was from their solicitors.

These people have abused your friendship sounds like the friendship is unfortunately over anyway - so get advice from insurance company or citizens advice. Good luck

lisa1968
17-07-2012, 09:41 AM
They are the ones in the wrong not you!!

it is a horrible situation.When I first started minding I hated asking for money-then I had one mum who didn't pay. it got to the stage where I was losing sleep over it!Then one day I thought-enough!! I was worrying where i was going to find the cash for new shoes for my daughter and yet this woman owed me!!
So,after she ignored my calls and texts,and a letter that i posted,I collared her in the school playground(she'd managed to avoid me for weeks).I said "Tell me-do you fill your trolley in tesco then ask if you can pay in a couple of weeks time?No? Thought not. I'll give you to the end of the week then I go to the small claims"
The cash appeared through my letter box the next day.

Theyve abused your friendship and I agree with rickysmith-you are a business.If they had used a nursery there is no way they wouldve got out of paying.if they had paid some since may,they wouldve made a dent in the debt by now.Make sure that they know you are serious about taking legal action as well.

let us know how you get on ;);

Pipsqueak
17-07-2012, 10:18 AM
Long story short, I ignored what all the people here had said and Childminded for friends. They left owing £1265 in May, which I know they don't have, with promises of paying it back in instalments over the next however many months. Not seen a penny since then.

I'm trying to write a not too heavy handed email to encourage them to start to pay me back. I want to put a little pressure on them but not loads as, as I said, I'm well aware their financial situation is dire.

The email goes like this so far:

This is just to remind you that you still owe me £1265 from ****'s childcare. Since the final invoice was issued in May I have not seen a penny from you. I appreciate that you have had a rough patch since moving, which is why I've tried not to pressurise you about this debt, but I am disappointed that the small payments I was promised a couple of times a month to chip away the debt have not happened. August is a very quiet time for me work wise and I was relying on recieving a fair amount of the money you owe me by now.

Can I suggest that you work out a sum of money which you can pay me per week so that we can start to get the debt shifted? If you paid me £50 per week, for instance, the debt would be cleared by the beginning of January.




I can't get the small claims court involved as they can't pay it. And tbh I don't see our friendship surviving this at all. And the thing they did that really, really hurts is that they are the only people ever to have not said 'thank you' when their child left my care :(

I know you are trying to be fair and nice but they are hardly being fair/nice/good friends to you now are they?

You say they have hit a rough patch and don't have the money.. well neither do you - can you afford to let go that amount?
It sounds like they are not even attempting to repay you for the work you have done. They are not even communciating with you. Nice friends!:rolleyes:

sorry time to get tough... you have done the work you are OWED the money = money that is yours not theirs.
Money that you could be spending on you and yours.
rattle gently then rattle hard...
if you want help writing a letter give me a shout

zippy
17-07-2012, 07:45 PM
My understanding is that if you are with MM they will repay you the money and recover the debt themselves. NCMA do things differently but have taken on new solicitors in the last two weeks who were very helpful when I rang them


Just to clarify, mm don't reimburse you, I have used they're debt recovery, you deal directly with a dedicated solicitor and they have a very good track record of getting it back, unfortunately for me mine wasnt recoverable but that was not due to lack of effort they sent in bailiffs in twice.

hectors house
18-07-2012, 07:25 AM
I now apologise when I write a new contract and say that due to someone in the past not paying on time, that I now require money to paid weekly in advance - some parents pay direct into my bank account, some still write a weekly cheque and some pay monthly in advance on childcare vouchers. You may or not get your money this time but don't make the same mistake twice.

rickysmiths
18-07-2012, 07:28 AM
I now apologise when I write a new contract and say that due to someone in the past not paying on time, that I now require money to paid weekly in advance - some parents pay direct into my bank account, some still write a weekly cheque and some pay monthly in advance on childcare vouchers. You may or not get your money this time but don't make the same mistake twice.


This is exactly how I explain why I ask for a 4 weeks fees Deposit on signing a Contract and keep it until the end of the Contract. :thumbsup:

Kiddleywinks
18-07-2012, 07:34 AM
The time for being nice has passed!

You were nice when you looked after their prized possessions
They were nice enough to let you do that unpaid

You were nice by suggesting they chip away at it
They were nice to decline that suggestion

You were nice to offer him to do a trade
They were nice to not do that probably because he'd be working and not getting a physical financial reward (Oh yeah, that's what they expect YOU to do isn't it!)


Time to get your business head on and get YOUR money.

Blaze
18-07-2012, 02:56 PM
If you're insured via MM - I would pass it on to them immediately ...If not and you're with the NCMA, I'd contact them & I'd start the Small Claims process immediately (as it can takes months/ years) ...I agree the time to be nice has passed ...You can blame it on your insurers only allowing you a set time from the end of the contract to filing paperwork with them!:thumbsup: Be strong! x