View Full Version : Help me with toilet training - please :(

10-06-2008, 08:42 AM
Ok some of you may remember I asked for tips when potty/toilet training.

My mindee who's 4 this year has been toilet traing with me for over a month now & still hasn't grasped it.

mum came with his potty on the first day but after complete disaster decided that we would go straight to the toilet as we'd be training on the potty & then on the toilet.

Anyway - like I say its still not been grasped.

How long do these things generally take to learn - I think after all this time that somethings not right.:(

10-06-2008, 08:55 AM
Well whats he like himself ?

Does he ask if he wants to go ? Or does he just wet himself ?
If he wets is it because he does not like to ask you - or does he just forget once he is playing doing other things?

How do the parents do this at home ?

You need to both be doing the same thing here so he does not get confused

Just a few questions so we know what advice to give you

Angel xx

10-06-2008, 09:06 AM
Well whats he like himself ?

Does he ask if he wants to go ? Never has done yet here or at homeOr does he just wet himself ? I try & get him on the toilet regularly ie - 10mins or so after he's drank a cup of his drinkIf he wets is it because he does not like to ask you - or does he just forget once he is playing doing other things? TBH I don't think he knows when he's gone or is going. I ask if he's done a wee wee & he'l nod his head but then i'll check & he;s not been at all - he never answers with yes or no
How do the parents do this at home ? The same but they put him on when they think he'll need to go
You need to both be doing the same thing here so he does not get confused

Just a few questions so we know what advice to give you

Angel xx

I have spoken to mum & said that i don't thnk he know's when hes going & said at the begining that she should maybe get his health visitor on board as she could give us some help/advice but mum wont

foxy lady
10-06-2008, 09:06 AM
hi have have been doing potty training i started last monday e will be 2 in aug
she is doing really well was dry all day yesterday
i have found the the best way to do it is NO NAPPIES, once we start i do not put a nappy on them at all, only to go to sleep.
i have found that over the last few times that i have potty trained that if you put a nappy on them some times it confuses them, the childs parents have agreed to do this aswell and it is working really well.i also put her on the potty every 20 mins with out fail.if we go out in the car i put a nappy mat in her seat.
sometimes it just takes time keep going you will get there in the end (afterall do you no anyone who is 18 and still in nappies :laughing: :laughing: )

10-06-2008, 11:35 AM
Sounds like you are doing everything right

Just dont make a big thing of it and take him regular he must have some understanding though now at his age I would have thought .... and they wont take him at school if he is not toilet trained
When does he go to school?

I would maybe just remind him to go - he is old enough to start going by himself if you stand outside near by
Encourage him after a drink and after meal times to go to the toilet like the other children

He sounds shy is he ? If that is the case he might prefer to go on his own

Hope he gets the message soon

Angel xx

10-06-2008, 01:51 PM
You sound like you are handling it really well.

If it was me I would probably keep a rough log of what is happening and what you are trying and so you can see easier what works and what doesn't.

I've got to say that if I had no joy at all with him (and none at home either) after a few more weeks I would really have to try and convince his mum to take him to the docs because if he's totally unaware of whether he needs to go or if he has wee'd himself it might be a medical problem. That's just what I've kind of thought from your message together with his age.

Got to say though that I was told that a small number of boys in particular don't achieve being toilet trained until they are 5.

10-06-2008, 06:31 PM
I have tried getting mum to take him to be checked out as i mentioned that when he does go its more of a dribble/leak than a full wee most of the time - she agreed at one point about the leaking, but then he's never been to the doctors.

I have also voiced my concerns about the fact that he doesn't seem to know when i ask him & dad laughs everytime :mad:

He is finishing with me in a couple of weeks so won't really be much I can do before he leaves. I suppose it is just getting me down abit all the trying & encouraging that I am putting into it, which neither mum or dad seem to be bothered about.


10-06-2008, 08:12 PM
Oh poor you, I started training at the same time as you and my lo aged 2 1/2 has been fully trained for weeks now after a hard first week, no nappies at nap time now either. I sometimes wonder that if it is left too long that we may have missed the optimal time, my sister left her lo till he was 4 and he took ages to train, they all get there eventually though. Keep up the good work.

Ali x

11-06-2008, 11:00 AM
bless you, you sound like you have done everything you can and unless the parents are really interested it wont work. I looked after a child who was really ready at 3 1/2 yet mum didnt want to as she called it "push him into it" so it wouldnt work until mum was really to help at home, because while he was with me he was fine but then mum turned up and put him into a nappy!!!! good luck xxx

11-06-2008, 12:25 PM
Thanks girlies

Mum turned up this morning saying he'd just done a poo in his as they were leaving the house so they were late, but she said that he said he'd get a gold star now - she told him not when its in his pants!

I have a potty chart when he's been to the toilet he gets a gold star - at least i know he understands that :clapping:

11-06-2008, 06:39 PM
we have a little boy potty training at the moment, we tell him where the potty is and tell him to remmber to say when he needs to go and he dose it fine when where inside and outside where on 2nd week now and he only had 2accidants. and this littke boy is the youngest child we have at the moment and all the other children go to the toilet you see and when he was in nappies he use to say that he wonted to go to toilet to and used to tell us when he was wet and needed changing.

but we had only little boy when he was potty trainig took us like 3 months to sort him. as mum kept putting him a nappy when playing outside and hept going places so was putting a nappy on him then as well so the poor child was all confzed

as he start about 2 or 3 weks before spring back in 2007. by the time spring back came he was doing grest etc. we had week of at spring bank came back . was back to square one. as mother was beusy taking hi mand his older sister herew there and every way insted of staying at home with him . as she was putting nappy when going in car etc. he is been fine seencs the 2nd week in setpmber 2007.

my mum also looked after a 4 year old who who would poo his pants, he didnt ask to go ot the toilet or tell my mum he had done it etc. it was a another little girl who was between 2 and 2 and half who was coming to tell my mum that the 4 year old boy had pooed his pants. That little girl had no problem potty training. the parent said it was becouse we didnt have a downstairs toilet and that why he was pooing his pants. one time my mum had to bath him and leave the little girls older borther who about 7 in charge while she bathed him (my mum did look the door etc and told the boy yo come and get her is someone came to door etc)

10-07-2008, 08:48 AM
Hi I am new to the Forum and desperately need help re potty training. Two mindees(17months and 27 months) both have more accidents than successes with me(the parents claim more success with them) I take them to the potty regularly and at key times(arriving/before leaving/after meals etc) This has been going on for a month. Yesterday at childminder group, each had an accident and I was on the verge of tears. It is still difficult to go out anywhere as one or the other will wet themselves. It is also impacting on third (trained mindee) as I can give her very little time and attention with all the trips to the potty x 2 and clearing up x 2.
In desperation I have asked the parents to consider letting me put them in pull-ups - I will of course continue with regular potty sits. Neither child ever tells me in time
Now I am dreading a parental backlash
Any advice would be great