View Full Version : Mindee doesn't interact with other children?

02-07-2012, 07:17 PM
I have a mindee, now 42 months. He is an only child, and is ahead with his learning and development. He is well into all the 40-60m areas of learning and development, except he doesn't interact with other children.

He will play alongside other children (ie hide and seek, or a storyline that he is interested in) but never interacts with the other children unless he is answering a question (which he often says 'I don't know' when in fact he does).

Nursery have noticed this too, although he only goes 2x a week (if that), so its hard for him to form friendships, and he is only with me, one afternoon a week.

Can someone advise me of what I should be doing ?

02-07-2012, 07:23 PM
What does he do if you sit with him and another child playing a sharing / taking turns game such as pairs?

Will he talk about the cards? Or just sit quietly and play the game? Or get up and move away?

It could be he is shy... uncertain about children but ok with adults... not with you long enough to make bonds... lots of things really.

Is there anything else worrying you / other setting / parents?

Hth :D

02-07-2012, 07:35 PM
How long have you had him at yours? I can imagine it would be hard for him to relax and bond with other children when he is with you and nursery for such short periods of time each week.

02-07-2012, 07:57 PM
Thank you for replying.

He will easily play a card game, take turns etc.

With card games (as such) he will generally just keep quiet but continue playing.

However, if he was to do a puzzle (just him and me), he would count the puzzle pieces left (after each new piece inserted), as counting is a major interest.

He is very chatty and full of life with mum (as he collects and takes him home) but is very quiet in mine (and nurseries) environment.

He has been coming to me for 2 years.

03-07-2012, 09:47 AM
You could be describing one of my mindees but she is only three. She starts nursery in September, it will be interesting to see what she is like there.

03-07-2012, 10:06 AM
I think this is quite normal. Children can take a long time before they 'Play' with each other they more than often play alongside each other. I have seen this in children I have had together for a very long time.

I don't think that often they truely do what we call join in until they are in Reception or even Year One.

As long as the child is progressing in all areas, is happy and social I wouldn't

I think we get a bit too hung up about a child making friends and playing with each other. This is one of reasons parents visiting me say they prefer Nurseries because theior child (may only be months old :laughing:) will make friends and be more social than if they come to me. It is of course a load of bull because if you move a child out of the Nursery they will not really remember any of the children there within weeks usually, they will move on to the next setting or stage. It is the parents who may make the friendships and continue them as many of my minded families have done over the years but that is the adults not the children.

My own children demonstrated this when we moved them from their Primary school, my dd was in year 4 and we had problems but ds was in year 2 and very happy, had to move him as well because I couldn't have two children in schools 4.5 miles apart. dd wanted to move and has stayed in touch with one friend, never even mentioned any of the others. ds never mentioned any of the other children, made new friends, then moved again 2 years later, kept in touch with one friend for a couple of years until they both moved to High School. neither of my child have suffered as a result of their moves.