View Full Version : does anyone else feel guilty giving notice?

21-06-2012, 08:22 AM
I have had child X for a year now and have not really enjoyed it. X is difficult which I can get over as i can deal with X but i don't feel the parents help as they just can't deal with it. Without going into too many details there are about 5 reasons now that have made me feel i should give notice and i just chicken out and dont do it! I have decided I have to do it as its starting to interfere with my personal/family life but still feel guilty! As well as my main reasons I generally don't feel the family are 100% happy and will pick about everything but when i ask if there not happy they say every things fine! They do not respond to questionnaires and email to help me improve things either!
When i give notice I think it will be a big shock to them and i think they will try and talk me into changing my mind, I had some holiday and they put on a massive guilt trip about how they had NO ONE else to help them and i was there only help but i just can't bend over backwards for them anymore (with no thanks or respect from them).
Sorry for the ramble but what do you write in a notice letter, its my first! Do you write a reason or just a standard letter and discuss the reasons? Do you call them in for a meeting or just casually tell them at pick up? I don't even know why I feel guilty as I know they would drop me in a flash if something cheaper/easier came along for them but i can't help it! Thanks for letting me have a moan and for any advice anyone has!

The Juggler
21-06-2012, 08:33 AM
then do it hon. you know you should. you are giving them notice. If you feel guilty about leaving them in the lurch with no care (which you shouldn't by the way ;) you could give ask for the local list from your family info service and give it to her OR you could offer to work a longer notice period to help out (but make sure you put a cap on it or they might take the mickey)

be strong :thumbsup:

21-06-2012, 09:18 AM
If it is affecting you and your family then you don't have a choice - do you??

Just say in your letter that due to a change in circumstances you are unable to care for xx any more.

If they press you, explain that it is personal or health reasons and you do not want to talk about it - and leave it at that.

Hugs xx

21-06-2012, 10:44 AM
Nope, no guilt at all! I have only given notice to 2 families in 13 years of childminding and each time it was a blinkin relief!

21-06-2012, 04:01 PM

I find it terribly difficult but I have learnt to be honest right from the start and then if things get too much and you have to terminate it doesn't come as a huge shock to them.

I even feel guilty about taking holidays but some parents are good at making you feel bad ;)

I always feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders though once it's done, but the notice period drags!!!! I feel as though it gets easier the more you do it, and I think over the last few years I've become better at dealing with parents as you get to know what they are likely to say :D

Also you have to put the other children first, and if it is affecting them then you have no alternative and parents usually accept this.

21-06-2012, 05:47 PM
So far, I have only given notice twice. Once regretfully (unable to accomodate changing requirements of two families and forced to choose between them) and once quite gladly to be honest, as the child's behaviour was affecting my family and the other children. That still didn't stop me feeling a bit guilty about leaving the parents the task of finding other childcare, and also quite apprehensive about their possible reaction (which was bad, but not as bad as I'd feared). But I'd got to the point of fantasising about giving notice, and how much nicer life would be without the little darling - I think that is when you know they HAVE to go!

hectors house
22-06-2012, 08:33 AM
Could you maybe ask around other childminders and see if anyone else is willing to take on this family before you give notice, then when you do you have given them a solution rather than a problem.

I once gave notice to parents of a little boy with physical & learning difficulties and was worried they would think I was discriminating but I just couldn't cope with his behaviour and alot of it wasn't to do with his condition, it was because parents let him get away with everything at home. I gave the reason that because he didn't walk, I had hurt my shoulder lifting him (which was true), and found another childminder who had more experience of working with a child with a disability.

I was almost at the point of giving up childminding because of this family - which looking back was a stupid thing to have considered - we are self employed, we can pick & choose to a certain extent the work we take on, life is too short to be unhappy.

Go on start the ball rolling today and enjoy your weekend!