Child turned up in pants - day 1 of potty training!!!arrggggg

[VeggieSausage]

lo has turned up in pants and I have been told that he is ready to potty train and they are starting today - totally talked over me and bamboozled me and I was rather cowardly and didn't say no outright. Have loads planned for today including a park trip etc - my potty training policy states that an example of potty training could be that if they have a week off at home they could potty train and when their child is successfully using the potty or toilet with very few accidents then I will support them and continue. ARrrggggg, I could weep, 3 lo's - one now on day 1 of potty training, one screamer and one with other hyperactivity issues......

[Bridey]

I would put the child in nappies and tell them emphatically that, while I am prepared to work with them once a potty training plan has been put into place and implemented at home for at least a week, it is NOT my job to do it for them.

[kats]

To be really honest with you i wouldn't put up with that, if your policy states as you have said that training must be established before you take over then that is what should be happening. If i was you i would wait till little accidents start to happen then i would ring the parents and say you are not able to have their child until the training is established at home as you have other children and it is unhygenic to have accidents happening all over the place. The only other option is that you insist they put their child in trainer pants. It's not your job to train the child. hope you get it sorted :)

[VeggieSausage]

Thanks for the replies - I feel like phoning them but am not going to and am so furious. They had last week off and so could have tackled the training then and come back in pants, but they didn't. Yesterday not once did he show any indication of telling me he needed the toilet when in pull ups, not that he isn't ready for potty training he is but it isn't for me to do it. I don't think. Also don't want accidents all over my house - got new sofa's at the weekend and don't really want them wee-ed on.

grrrrrr:angry:

[Rubybubbles]

does anyone have a toliet training poilicy they could share please? I had this last year, as I had nothing down I couldn't do anything !

[md0u0131]

I've had this too, a lo turned up in pants with mum saying proudly we've started potty training. So I was like "fantastic when did you start?" (she'd been at home past 4days). Mum replied "this morning!" :eek:

I reworded my policy that night!

[SandCastles]

does anyone have a toliet training poilicy they could share please? I had this last year, as I had nothing down I couldn't do anything !

Gosh I haven't got one either, can someone share one with me too please?

[AliceK]

That's not on at all. I would see how it goes for a couple of hours, you will know very quickly if the child is going to be successful and then if you need to, put the child back in pull-ups and advise the parent they must start this at home before handing child back to you in pants. I had 1 LO like this, I did a timeline which showed at what times I put child on the toilet and whether they wee'd (they didn't) and at what times the child had accidents. Then I gave it to parents at the end of the day showing clearly that child was not ready.
Basically if your policy is clear then they can't argue with you about it.

xxx

[Hayley102]

Think I have managed to attach mine.

[Velleity]

I would have put a nappy on and gave them another copy of my policy at the end of the day! Had a parent try this already with their two year old son who spoke no English and had no way of communicating his needs to me. He would have weed everywhere :laughing:

[waterwaybabies]

had the same happen here on moday after one day of trying at home.
they were very nice about it though and asked if i minded continuing [and provided nappies and spare clothes in abundance]
little one has been great though and no accidents at all.
she was ready for this i,m sure.x
good luck hun.:)

[VeggieSausage]

This is my nappy and toilet training policy (sorry couldn't attach so here it is):

I am happy to accept babies and children in nappies. I will need you to provide me with the following:

Nappies
Any cream that you use on your child
Baby wipes

I will provide a changing mat, which will be cleaned with anti-bacterial wipes or spray between each use and nappy sacks for the disposal of used nappies. I will always use plastic gloves when changing your child's nappy to reduce risk. If your child is allergic to these please let me know.

I am happy to care for a child in real/cloth nappies.

I will change your child regularly and immediately if they have soiled a nappy. I believe that changing a nappy should provide lots of opportunity to communicate with your child and as their understanding grows provide time to discuss basic hygiene issues, preparing them for potty training.

I wash mine and children's hands are cleaned after nappy changing

It is important that as parents you take the time to potty train your child and I will support you and continue with this in my setting. An example of an outline of the potty training procedure may go is as follows:

When you have made the decision to potty train your child you will probably need to take a week at home to introduce pants and ensure you child is using the potty or the toilet. A child will still probably need a nappy at night/naps and when you go out initially. When they are pretty much dry during the day and using the potty or toilet I will be able to support you and continue with this. Children may be able to tell you that they need the toilet but will need reminding and taking to the toilet regularly.

It is very important to pick a suitable time to begin potty training when you have the time to dedicate to it. Parents must advise me of their timings so that I can plan my activities accordingly.

Some children take to potty training overnight for some it is a longer process, the most important thing is that we work together to give your child the support and reassurance they need during this period. I will provide you with daily feedback on how we are progressing with the training. Children in my setting will need to wear pants and clothes when potty training and parents will still need to provide nappies for naps etc if they are still needed.

If a child is having lots of accidents then I may have to say to parents that I cannot continue with the training at the moment as the child does not seem ready.

In order to help your child become independent in going to the toilet I provide the following equipment:

Potties
Toilet trainer seat
Steps for the toilet and the wash basin

Parents will need to provide:

Changes of clothes
Several pairs of pants
Pull ups/nappies/wipes if necessary

Please let me know if you wish to discuss your child's



Bumped into the mum of the lo who arrived today to potty train and told her my concerns that they need to do it at home and break the back of it then flag up with me so I can plan our week accordingly - she was fine - she is very pushy and a PR type person so somehow you are never in control of the conversation but hey ho! phew - what a morning.

[hectors house]

When one parent told me that she felt "we" should start potty training her son - I told her, "well you stay in on your days off (Thur & Fri) and all weekend and I'll carry on on Monday!

Must be hard for parents who work full time, but I don't feel it is fair on the other children to stay here and miss toddlers and outings.

[littlecheeks]

to be honest it seems i am the minority here but i am quite happy to work with parents who want to try and potty train. i feel it is part of my job (as a home from home) and would not feel right telling a parent a child must be established in potty training before sending them to me in pants. if they have accidents, so be it. just like i dealt with my own children.
if after a suitable amount of time it was not working i would suggest trying later on.
am i the only one on this wave length?

[~Grasshopper~]

little cheeks its a massive difference to being home with your own children. we have up to 3 other toddlers running/ crawling around and other things to do without following a child around with a potty and why should we. its a personal thing and that what parents are for. i wouldnt want anyone else to train my own children.

that you for those who have posted policies, i will be writing mine tonight :) xx

[fluff1975]

to be honest it seems i am the minority here but i am quite happy to work with parents who want to try and potty train. i feel it is part of my job (as a home from home) and would not feel right telling a parent a child must be established in potty training before sending them to me in pants. if they have accidents, so be it. just like i dealt with my own children.
if after a suitable amount of time it was not working i would suggest trying later on.
am i the only one on this wave length?

I'm split on this one but leaning towards littlecheeks opinion. That said, at the moment the one child I have who is learning to use the loo is doing very well has had no accidents with me and only comes for one morning a week! I'll probably change my mind when I have a full timer left with me in pants on day 1!!

But it doesn't really matter what we think, if they've accepted your policies then they should be adhering to them.

[funemnx]

to be honest it seems i am the minority here but i am quite happy to work with parents who want to try and potty train. i feel it is part of my job (as a home from home) and would not feel right telling a parent a child must be established in potty training before sending them to me in pants. if they have accidents, so be it. just like i dealt with my own children.
if after a suitable amount of time it was not working i would suggest trying later on.
am i the only one on this wave length?

I'm with you on this one, perhaps because so far, my parents have all been really good about continuing the good work done so far. I would really hate it if a parent turned up with a child in a nappy and then proceded to tell me to potty train, back again to nappies for the weekend at home! I know this does happen......

[Bridey]

to be honest it seems i am the minority here but i am quite happy to work with parents who want to try and potty train. i feel it is part of my job (as a home from home) and would not feel right telling a parent a child must be established in potty training before sending them to me in pants. if they have accidents, so be it. just like i dealt with my own children.
if after a suitable amount of time it was not working i would suggest trying later on.
am i the only one on this wave length?

I think its great to work WITH the parents but I would still expect them to discuss this with me prior to turning up with a mindee in pants and to have spent at least a weekend trying at home before they sent the child to my house.

The fact that these particular parents had a week off yet made the decision that his first moments of being potty trained would happen at my house without discussing it first would not be well received.

[caz3007]

I had a parent who booked a week off to potty train and then organised a packed itinery, she didnt bother in the end. :laughing: She is off in August and I have suggested she try then as it would also be easier for me to carry it on as I will only have my son here and we can stay in the week after and no school runs.

[melco]

I had a text last night from a parent whose 2yr old is coming today to say that since they left my house on Monday they have been potty training him and he has had no accidents. I have plans to only go out at lunch time today but am nervous as with me he has not shown any signs at all of being ready, he has never told me he has needed the toilet.

I do not have a policy so will be quickly taking note of the one on here and setting one up, what has been good is she did say in her text that she will provide change of clothes, pants and nappies if he does go downhill so at least she is understanding that he may not be fine here. I don't mind doing it but wish it was next week she started as they are off!!