Given notice and feel terrible. :-(

[Childminder in Kent]

I took on a new boy 5 weeks ago. He is just 2 years old. Parents suspect that he may be autistic (no speech and very poor social skills). They advised me that they though he might be difficult to settle in, so have started him now (5 weeks ago) even though mum is not going to be working until September. This is so that mum could 'ease him in slowly'.
Well it hasn't been going well. He has more or less screamed, not cried - screamed for the whole time, everytime i have had him. Not just that but he is also violent - hurting other children/me and throwing things.
He is fine with me if i have no other children - its the sharing of me/toys with other children that he cannot cope with. I have my own baby and if he is asleep, the child will read/play/sing with me quite happily - as soon as my baby/other (minded) children are there all hell breaks loose.
Well this week I have decided that I cannot give him the time he needs, in my opinion ( and i've worked with children for almost 20 years) he needs 1:1 care - With lots of opportunities to mix with other children socially.

When I told mum she was upset/disapointed but I feel that its better to say now rather than leave it for another month or 2, leaving them less time to find someone else.
I know I have done the right thing - for me, my children, my minded children and most of all the child himself.
So why do I feel so bad?!

[miffy]

You feel bad because you care. But you have done the best thing for yourself, your own baby, the other mindees AND this lo

Sending hugs.

Miffy xx

[zippy]

You've done the right thing hun, and you know you have. You're family have to come first, and the other mindees. I know it must be really hard but its better to do it now. He sounds like he maybe needs a highly qualified nanny so he gets this one to one. I wonder if there may be some extra financial support mum could get to help. Don't feel bad you really have done the right thing.

[Childminder in Kent]

Thanks,
I DO know that i've done the right thing. Last week I had hime, my own son and another minded child. The other minded child got probably 4% of my attention that day and my own son - the youngest probaly 1% - im not exageratting, he was that difficult.
It's just so unfair on other children/parents who are paying the same, expecting a certain level of care - I knew I couldn't give that with this child aswell.

[HelenHale]

Don't feel bad, you gave it your best shot but it didn't work. I have a grown up son (21) with autism and severe learning difficulties who really struggled in group situations at that age... and an 11 year old with borderline social communication difficulties who only learned to mix after I began childminding.... he used to scream at toddler groups and in clinic waiting rooms if another child came anywhere near him!!! Hopefully Mum will find someone who will be able to give her son the 1:1 support that he needs right now. I know some LA's give funding for this so it might be something for her to explore...

Helen x

[stargazer1]

How difficult for you :( This could really be a good thing for mum tho. You say they suspect he has autism. Perhaps now that he has been to a childminder who feels he needs 1:1 care, mum can now seek further help for him and get a proper diagnosis. Well done you for doing the right thing by you, your family and this little one x