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View Full Version : Advice re challenging behaviour of mindee



maggiesk
24-05-2012, 03:24 PM
I'm after some advice from any other childminders out there who may have had some experience in this area.
I'm having real problems with a mindee 21 month old being really aggressive to my son who is more or less the same age but smaller in size.

I've been childminding this little boy since he was 12 months old but this behaviour has started since he started walking about 2 months ago. He settled in very quickly and clearly enjoys coming, we've bonded right from the beginning and he hasn't shown any signs of being jealous of my little boy or not liking him. this new behaviour seems to be when he wants to get my attention and even more so when he isnt able to do something he wants to do- like pull something down, press all the buttons on my washing machine and I try to guide him away and say 'No'

He has really started pushing boundaries when he's here and whenever he has to do something he doesn't want to ie- have his nappy changed, hold my hand if he gets out of the pushchair to walk in the street, waiting his turn to be pushed on the swing he gets really angry within seconds and then gets agressive.
If we are at my house he instantly tries to hurt my little boy- and it's quite deliberate, usually by hitting or if he's not standing next to him he will throw whatever he has in his hands at him. When I say no to him he then hits me too.

Telling him no, removing him from the situation, ignoring him and focusing on my lo, phrasing his good behaviour only, nothing is seeming to work and it's getting worse. My little boy is clearly nervous of him, and starts backing away and calling for me whenever the boy comes near him.

This week I have spoken to mum, as I've tried to before and she is very apologetic, but if I'm being honest I dont think he has any boundaires at home and seems to get away with doing whatever he wants to, including being destructive to my house, belongings when she comes to pick him up if he doesnt want to get his coat on etc. he is an only child and to be blunt Mum is very soft with him, she doesn't believe in 'naughty steps', removing children in any way. I've never heard her raise her voice to tell him off for anything.
Any suggestions would be really appreciated as I havent been childminding for long and want to carry on loving my job!

sarah707
24-05-2012, 05:13 PM
You and mum need to discuss boundaries - what is ok and not ok for the child to do.

Children are adaptable though and he will learn that there are different rules in your house - it just happens quicker if everyone is saying and doing the same thing.

Some children do get aggressive especially pre-speech so you need to support them in other ways - how about a pictorial communication book? You will find ideas for making one online.

I hope it improves quickly xx