unhappy 9 year old

[clumpcat]

hi all,
yesterday i mentioned to mum that her 9 year old seemed abit unhappy with me and abit prickly with the other children, today when she picked up she asked how he had been and i said not his usual happy self and then she said that he had mentioned that he didn't like coming to my house. I asked mum why but she didn't know and i asked her if she could find out, (up until this week he has been fine, happy and gets on well with me and others).
I am thinking about sending home for the children to fill out a questionaire to get their views on my setting and what i offer, i was wondering if anyone else had doen somethine similar and what they had asked. He really loves playing football and i've stopped at teh park alot to let him play football as his other friends are there but it doens't seem enough for him atm. Any other ideas? i will also chat with him tomorrow to see if there is anything i can do to cheer him up.

[sarah707]

Awww bless him he might be suffering from I'm too old to have a childminderitis.

It often strikes about age 9 / 10 especially if they see friends playing out and they have to be in the house / garden.

Or there could be something happening at school that's upsetting him and he is carrying it over - we get that with our older ones sometimes.

He needs to sit with someone he trusts and open up. Ours will often tell my teens but not me or parents... is there someone who has all the time in the world to sit and chat to him?

Hth :D

[clumpcat]

that is a very good point, i think he is feeling like he's too old to come to my house now. i don't have any one apart from me that he can talk to. Perhaps i will see if he will chat to me tomorrow about how he is feeling. Hopefully mum might come to me tomorrow with abit more information on why he no longer likes coming here.

[miffy]

It might well be his age especially if there are no other children the same age for him to play with. Hope you manage to find out what is at the bottom of it - I don't like it if I think they are unhappy and I don't know why.

Miffy xx

[Bridey]

When my son was younger I read that the best way to get a boy to talk to you was to engage them in an activity, sit alongside them and chat. If you approach them too directly and make eye contact then they can clam up. Hope this helps.

[mindingmummy]

[QUOTE=sarah707;1104941]Awww bless him he might be suffering from I'm too old to have a childminderitis.

Haha! my thoughts exactly :-)

I find when they hit that age you could have a full sweetshop in the living room, a bouncy castle in the garden, and unlimited supplies of every toy imaginable and they still wouldnt be happy!! haha.

I did do a child questionnaire once and never got any response so figured everything must be ok.

Maybe a little quiet chat to say that if there is anything bothering him he can always trust you to listen if he wants a chat. I find that softens the mood sometimes. I do try to remind them all that I was there age once too and I know how hard school can be.

Sometimes though its just best to ride it out :-)

[clumpcat]

Thank you for your replies, I was going to have a quiet word this morning but my little boy piped up with "why don't you like coming here Will?"!! Just came straight out with it! Nothing like being discreet! Will try again tonight :)