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View Full Version : Am I the wrong sort of person for this job?



buzzy bee
16-05-2012, 04:47 PM
I don't think I'm very tolerant... I'm fine with the little ones, but the schoolies drive me crazy and I'm constantly counting down the weeks til the next holidays.

I just hate the way they take over my house. Little things like how I go to the bathroom after one of them and there's wee on the seat, the tap is dripping and the light is still on.

And they're so noisy and do things they're not meant to like throw the toys, leave lids of pens and glue, etc etc.

I feel like a constant nag and I just get more and more irritated with them. Especially when I repeat myself about the same things.

The thing is I couldn't make very much money if I didn't do the school run, so I feel like I can't justify giving it up. Maybe I'd be more tolerant with infant school kids, but the ones who are 8, 9, 10, 11 I think should know better.

So as the title says, am I the wrong sort of person for this job?!

blue bear
16-05-2012, 04:52 PM
Rather than the wrong sort if person for the job perhaps it's just a matter of the wrong age/type of children for you?
May be think of replacing older ones with younger ones when the situation arises, homegrown school age children are so much easier as they know your rules and way of thinking.

ajs
16-05-2012, 05:01 PM
I most definitely am not suited to the after school children and only have one who i Have had for 10 years and who goes home within an hour of getting home from school. I have had them in the past but like you they annoy me too much and I spend the whole time saying don't do that to them so I decided that when they left I wouldn't replace them.
I am much happier and the 10 yr old loves the attention she gets from me.

She goes to high school next year and I can't wait until I don't had to collect from school anymore

Goatgirl
16-05-2012, 05:09 PM
Hi :),
You sound a bit like me when the children are pushing their luck. They know the rules, rewards (achievement cart + stickers, tv or x-box time, lots of thanks and praise for taking good care of my stuff, setting a good example to the little ones etc) and sanctions (depends on the offence, but 'sitting quietly with a book until can play by the rules, time out, not allowed to play with the toys they don't play with responsibly) though.

And I run a very tight ship.

If I'm starting to get stressed because they're pushing expected boundaries I just come down hard on them to reinforce exactly where they are :thumbsup:. Without showing them I'm getting stressed though, as that's exactly what they can be trying to achieve :thumbsup:

I hope you find a way to make it fun: otherwise it can really be a grind having the older ones.

How about adding a trip to the park in to your routine to get them to blow off a little steam before they start in on the resources?

Ripeberry
16-05-2012, 05:40 PM
I'm the same I love little babies and kids under 4yrs old but the older ones just wind me up. Don't know why :( I don't have to do the school run for others as I have to do it for my own kids and I HAVE to drive to get to our school as it's on a very busy road with no pavements (countryside)so I couldn't fit everyone in anyway unless I got a minibus :rolleyes:

BucksCM
16-05-2012, 05:46 PM
I'm like you, Florabird, tight ship here.
I do allow them to play but they have to understand that they need to respect the toys etc or they'll have nothing to play with. A lot of the toys have been with my since I started 18 years ago!:D
Once toys start to get a bit old, they become outside toys and they can bash them but NOT the inside toys!
I sometimes get to a piont with 2 brothers where I stop repeating myself and just ask them what I said a few minutes ago...so you were listening then? OK...go and have a think about it then...in a quiet corner...

mrs robbie williams
16-05-2012, 05:52 PM
I don't think I'm very tolerant... I'm fine with the little ones, but the schoolies drive me crazy and I'm constantly counting down the weeks til the next holidays.

I just hate the way they take over my house. Little things like how I go to the bathroom after one of them and there's wee on the seat, the tap is dripping and the light is still on.

And they're so noisy and do things they're not meant to like throw the toys, leave lids of pens and glue, etc etc.

I feel like a constant nag and I just get more and more irritated with them. Especially when I repeat myself about the same things.

The thing is I couldn't make very much money if I didn't do the school run, so I feel like I can't justify giving it up. Maybe I'd be more tolerant with infant school kids, but the ones who are 8, 9, 10, 11 I think should know better.

So as the title says, am I the wrong sort of person for this job?!

I could have written this post a few weeks ago, i lost my schoolies to an before/after school club and although at the time i was gutted now im really glad, i just have 2 babies now during the day and life is so much easier, im actually thinking i'll just stick to babies from now on. Im getting to spend so much more time with my own children and my house is much tidier :thumbsup:

VeggieSausage
16-05-2012, 05:56 PM
I am sat frazzled after a long day with a bunch that are showing me to be very intolerant too!! you are not alone Buzzy Bee...

TooEarlyForGin?
16-05-2012, 06:11 PM
I have been letting my after schoolies go, and really don't want any more unless financially I am forced into it. I have enjoyed having them in the past and all have generally been good but...........

I live in quite a small house and with the bad weather they seem to fill up the house and "bounce" around all the time, I am quite strict, but still get ignored, they get EVERYTHING out in the first 5 minutes and then ask to do something else while I am trying to cook dinner/sort out little ones, trying to get them to tidy is harder work than doing it myself.

I will stick to little ones where I can.

Bridey
16-05-2012, 06:33 PM
I have varied between little ones (fewer children but longer hours) and after-schoolies (more children, shorter hours) depending on how I feel but I don't combine the two. Its just too hard. I had babies for the first 8 years, felt I was getting a little bored and stale so gradually changed to older children as the little ones started to school. I haven't changed a nappy for 4 years :thumbsup:

However, my after-schoolies are now slowly being lost to secondary school and I'm starting to feel broody ...

cabby
16-05-2012, 06:36 PM
ive just given notice to my 2 after schoolies for the exact same reasons :thumbsup:

loocyloo
16-05-2012, 06:54 PM
i find 'new' schoolies difficult, but if they have been with me from being little, OR they already have a sibling with me, then its usually ok as they 'know' how to behave in my house!

Natternic
16-05-2012, 07:25 PM
So glad I'm not alone! I have 2families of 3 school children, who I am seriously thinking of giving notice to and will def give notice if more under5s come along. I've told one family mum tonight to please have words again, about the constant screaming, chat back and arguing, and made it clear that at the moment I would not be able to do another winter inside my house, it's better that they are all outside at mo, the two families just don't click, and we get sibling arguments s well as the other stress.

So god I read this tonight as felt a lousy childminder.
In answer to your post no you are def not wrong for the job, it's just the ages unfortunately x

toddlers896
16-05-2012, 08:27 PM
How ironic that this post is on here tonight. Thats what i love about this site, whatever you are thinking you can be sure that somebody else will be thinking the same.
I have just sat and had a long converstion with my hubby tonight about wether this job is for me and like everybody says i think its a matter of getting the right age group and sticking to that.
Ime really struggling with the babies, I only have a one year old but she has become so attached that i cant walk away for 2 mins and she screams the place down, she wont get into a sleeping pattern and her favourite word at the moment is ta, if you dont give her what you have its all hell let loose.
Today i looked after a baby for a couple of hrs and she screamed for about half hr, i just thought oh my god. why have i chosen this job.
Tomorrow is a new day!!:eek:

sarahjane
16-05-2012, 09:27 PM
I'm the same, I really would rather not have any after schools except the one I have who has been with me since she was a baby.
I am lucky that she goes to a village school and I am limited to how many I can have as I have to drive there, so up to 3 little ones, plus her doesn't leave a lot of room for anyone else.
I have on a temporary contract a family of 4 who I have for 2 hours 2 days a week but only until my under 3's pick up abit (the mum knows this) and they drive me potty,

Luckily my after schools are term time only - I don't know how some of the minders in my town do it in the holidays with the little ones and 6 plus children in tow everyday!

Demonjill
16-05-2012, 09:59 PM
I too have found it difficult with having schoolies - well one in particular - i am used to just having littlies:) - who have their own "moments" but are picking up the rules of MY house (some not as fast as others - but they are only 3 and 4)
To me there is no excuse for kids of school age to be rude, cheeky, very messy, lazy to tidy up, ignore you, damage your resources ... and house, car etc
My kids dont, never have and never will
Other folks kids (apart from select few) - NIGHTMARE!!:rolleyes:

Thing is my own DS is 8 and I would (am) be so proud to send him to a CM (if i had to ) knowing he would behave, be polite, respect property and peoples feelings.
Is it too much to ask?

Sorry but this just really annoys me and ive spent many a tearful moment wondering why i do it:rolleyes:

I have to admit although Babies can be hard work and cannot always explain why they are crying/upset they are by far my favourite age ......and take care of any broodiness that pops up now and again:D;)

Bridey
16-05-2012, 10:07 PM
I must be really lucky - 15 after-schoolers in and out each week ranging from 5 to 12 years old and every one of them well-behaved, polite, respectful, great company and good fun.

Yesterday I plonked a huge cardboard box into a room of six 8 & 9 year old boys. Instead of jumping all over it, as I expected, they carried it onto the dining room, got the craft materials out and decorated it inside and out with crayons, felt tip, glitter, stickers, foam shapes etc. They then, without me asking them to, put everything away, cleaned the table and asked me for a broom so they could sweep the floor. No word of a lie!!! :clapping:

BucksCM
16-05-2012, 10:39 PM
i find 'new' schoolies difficult, but if they have been with me from being little, OR they already have a sibling with me, then its usually ok as they 'know' how to behave in my house!

YES!!
It's the new ones with the "you can't tell me what to do" attitude and the " I don't want to be here so I'll make your life difficult"
I know they are children and all that, BUT they also know how to wind you up!
I start them when they are young...much easier!:D

BucksCM
16-05-2012, 10:44 PM
I must be really lucky - 15 after-schoolers in and out each week ranging from 5 to 12 years old and every one of them well-behaved, polite, respectful, great company and good fun.

Yesterday I plonked a huge cardboard box into a room of six 8 & 9 year old boys. Instead of jumping all over it, as I expected, they carried it onto the dining room, got the craft materials out and decorated it inside and out with crayons, felt tip, glitter, stickers, foam shapes etc. They then, without me asking them to, put everything away, cleaned the table and asked me for a broom so they could sweep the floor. No word of a lie!!! :clapping:

Hey, Bridey....wake up...you're dreaming again!

LOL!!

Isn't it lovely though when little things like that happen?

Bridey
17-05-2012, 06:45 AM
Hey, Bridey....wake up...you're dreaming again!

LOL!!

Isn't it lovely though when little things like that happen?

It was and I made sure all the parents came in to look at their handiwork, look at the pictures I took of them doing it and hear how wonderful their children were! I must admit, my lot are a fab bunch. :thumbsup:

Its like having a old dog show a puppy how to behave. Any newbies I have here follow the lead of the older ones and settle down really quickly. I wonder if it would be the same if I had babies & toddlers here, probably not.

Ripeberry
17-05-2012, 08:05 AM
I'm the same, I really would rather not have any after schools except the one I have who has been with me since she was a baby.
I am lucky that she goes to a village school and I am limited to how many I can have as I have to drive there, so up to 3 little ones, plus her doesn't leave a lot of room for anyone else.
I have on a temporary contract a family of 4 who I have for 2 hours 2 days a week but only until my under 3's pick up abit (the mum knows this) and they drive me potty,

Luckily my after schools are term time only - I don't know how some of the minders in my town do it in the holidays with the little ones and 6 plus children in tow everyday!

Sounds similar to my set up, limited by how many I can get in the car and term-time only. Some minders in my area are full to the brim in the holidays with up to 11 kids each! They just hire a hall during that week and use that:thumbsup: instead of their houses!

JCrakers
17-05-2012, 12:17 PM
I must say I do prefer under 5's. They are sooooooooooo much easier :D
I do find my after schoolies hard work and they are all boys. If we dont get to go to the park after school then its even harder. One day I will decide to stop the school run and just do the little ones.
But saying that the older ones do bulk up the money but, boy I do earn it :laughing:

I too get annoyed with
being too rough with the smaller childrens toys
shouting and screaming in the garden
Football constantly going over the fence (now banned)
Constantly asking to play the Wii
Not listening
Talking about poo and willy's when eating tea
Weeing on the toilet floor when they have missed
Not washing hands and I have to send them back in (I always know when they have been too quick, just one look from me and they turn back to wash their hands....lol)
Just throwing the towels or hand tissues on the floor

Oooh the list is endless...:laughing:

stargazer1
17-05-2012, 01:43 PM
I had one start with me Monday, 2 hours after school every day. Hes generally very polite and well spoken and has an amazing imagination - every day this week on the way home from school he has told me about the magic springs in his boots that shoot him into space, and that his arms arent real, they are robitic. But I have to say I had to draw the line at him pretending to shoot my own 20 month old ds in the head with his magic gun (I said "we dont like guns", he said "its ok, its not real"). I think schoolies I will keep to a limit. My own dd is often tired when she comes home from school and likes a bit of peace and quiet (shes 4 so too young yet really to just take herself off to her room) but when I see the energy some of the kids come out of school with, I cant imagine coping with a hoard of them in my house in one go! I think you are far from alone in how you are feeling, give me littlies any day - the smaller the better! :)

Bluebell
17-05-2012, 01:49 PM
Never done after after schoolies but I do some in the holidays and I find them lovely but I don't think I'd want them every day after school - its great if you can get out for the day! At the moment some of my days end at 3.30 and its quite nice having the rest of the afternoon free! I think for me the biggest impact is on my own children so I don't advertise for after schoolies - I think if I got a request I would have to consider it and see how badly the parent needed help!