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samkeddy
15-05-2012, 01:07 PM
Hi again,
Im sure at some point many of you have experienced this so need advise to get past it, I began childminding to be able to earn while be with my daughters, my eldest now attends school nursery 2.5 days, ive juggled activities since she started as i hate the thought of her missing out, but she will be going full time in september and i really need to get over this guilt, i just HATE the feeling i have while im doing lovely fun things with mindees knowing how upset she'll be knowing she wasnt apart of it.

Sorry for yet another moan

Thanks x

nokidshere
15-05-2012, 01:21 PM
She wont be upset she will be doing new and exciting things and probably wont even give what you are doing much thought while she is at school.

As parents we always project our own feelings onto our children, because we feel bad about something that is no indiciation that they will be feeling the same - they think like children not like us.

And if she does mention it, you need to stay matter of fact and simply say its mummys work. If she picks up that you are feeling bad about it then the chances are she will make you feel worse (unwittingly).

Once my boys started school they never asked what I was doing when they weren't there and if they did they thought it was babyish anyway because they were now grown up and at school LOL

stargazer1
15-05-2012, 01:21 PM
Ditto!!! My little boy is 20 months and my little girl is 4 (she is in school full time). My primary reason for childminding, as selfish as it may sound and before I sat the course and fell in love with the way that we can enrich small peoples lives, was that I could spend time with my children and earn at the same time. I have been looking after two friends little ones for about 9 months prior to being registered so there have been extras in my house for a while and my little girl initially really didnt like that she was having to go to school while I took my little one and an extra to soft play or something. And to be honest my little boy, who is with me all the time, took a bit of objection to other kids being in his house. But now all settled and all is good. I had a new one start with me yesterday and another new one today and my little girl just takes it in her stride now, and enjoys showing the new ones her classroom when we walk her to school. I have explained to her that if she wants mummy to take her to school and collect her every day and to have a nice holiday in the summer and nice things then mummy needs to earn some money and this means I am able to still be there for her all the time. And I think it has done my little boy the world of good re socialising, sharing etc. Hes has two new ones in his home the past two days and hes loving it, no jealousy or anything. I really do think it gives the best of both worlds. And any guilt you feel now will pass when it all settles and you know you are doing the best by your little one. I always tried to once a month go and do something as a treat with my little girl as well so that she didnt feel that she missed out too much. And I always tell her that the littlies cant wait to go to big school like her, and they ask all day when they can go. (A little white lie, but hey, it makes her feel important). xxx

samkeddy
15-05-2012, 01:33 PM
yes im sure your right its me more than her!!

I think because her sister tells her excitedly what we've done, where we've been, shows her what we've made etc that makes it harder:panic: but theres no keeping her quiet lol.

And the thing is i cant always pretend its 'baby stuff' as she knows my mindees (and her sister) are all 3&4 so it is normaly stuff she would have enjoyed:( But yes i need to remember shes having a lovely time at school, its really hard tho

BucksCM
15-05-2012, 01:37 PM
you could always say that you kept a few bits and that you'll do it with her at the weekend when it's just you and her(and sister!)

loocyloo
15-05-2012, 02:02 PM
you could always say that you kept a few bits and that you'll do it with her at the weekend when it's just you and her(and sister!)

my DD is 7 and i still keep bits for her to do activities after school /at weekends :rolleyes: she loves asking what we've done and talks to the LO about it.

sometimes we go out at the weekend so i can 'check out' ;) where i want to take the LO, or if LO and i have been somewhere during the day, i can then tell her that it was really good, and we can go in the holidays when we can stay all day, or, she was really lucky she didn't come because XYZ!

lozzy23
15-05-2012, 04:25 PM
Don't worry, my DD came in from school today. She sat down at the craft table and noticed some new chubbie paint pens. She said "Hmmmph, we never had these when we were little", a bit of sulking and then asked if she could do a picture, I gave her some paper and she proceeded to do a picture of Milo from the Tweenies. She said "Mum look Milo", very proudly.

My DD is 18 years old:D

loocyloo
15-05-2012, 04:31 PM
Don't worry, my DD came in from school today. She sat down at the craft table and noticed some new chubbie paint pens. She said "Hmmmph, we never had these when we were little", a bit of sulking and then asked if she could do a picture, I gave her some paper and she proceeded to do a picture of Milo from the Tweenies. She said "Mum look Milo", very proudly.

My DD is 18 years old:D

that made me smile!

my DD has had stropp this evening as she has seen some new paintsticks in my amazon delivery!

kellib
15-05-2012, 05:56 PM
This is why I try and only work term time so my son has the school holidays to do all the exciting and fun things.

Sometimes he does kick off when he finds out we've been to soft play when he's at school but he soon forgets all about it and starts telling me he's been invited to a friends house etc :)

samkeddy
15-05-2012, 06:18 PM
Don't worry, my DD came in from school today. She sat down at the craft table and noticed some new chubbie paint pens. She said "Hmmmph, we never had these when we were little", a bit of sulking and then asked if she could do a picture, I gave her some paper and she proceeded to do a picture of Milo from the Tweenies. She said "Mum look Milo", very proudly.

My DD is 18 years old:D

lol that sounds like something i'd have done 10yrs since, my brother is 8yrs younger and i always had to play with his toys at that age lol

i do save things to do with her and think i worry more than necassary