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nipper
09-05-2012, 09:16 AM
My 39 month old mindee arrived screaming this morning, I could hear her as she got out the car. Dad said she had been ill all weekend with cough, cold and high temp so needless to say as soon as he had gone I popped the thermometer in her ear but it was normal.

She refuses to speak whilst my ds (8) and dd(5) are around and is to put it bluntly quite rude. I actually asked her to say hello to them this morning, which she did in the quietest of whispers.
I have had big issues at home time, from running around refusing to go (in the first month) but she now jumps into daddy's arms and won't walk out of the front door. Dad just panders to her and calls her 'princess' oh and funnily enough it is just starting to emerge that she is a moody so and so and has huge tantrums...they didn't tell me that when they signed her up!! I start to prepare her for home time, shoes on ready and even from the morning I tell her that she is going to be a big girl and walk out of the front door. Even in front of dad I lightheartedly say 'even so and so can walk out the door and she's two!!' in the hope he will cotton on, but her just melts in her presence.

She is the youngest of three (two older brothers) and cannot even dress herself. Most of the time her trousers and skirts are so tightly buttoned she can't undo them, so we have been doing lots of practise taking off various items and putting them back on, including fastening buttons and pulling off wellies.

To cap it all on the way home from school this morning, she announces she was sick last night. When I asked her what had caused her to be sick, she replied 'too much mummy's booby'. Whilst I realise that it is up to individuals how they raise their children I am quite shocked at this, because when they came to see me, having tried nurseries for a short time, I was very much under the impression that nothing was good enough for their precious daughter. Having seen what she is like around the other children I look after, I am now beginning to build up a pretty good idea of what she is like. I have to say that socially she needs to be around similar aged children in order to prepare her for school next September. I can't help but feel that her parents are not letting her grow up and pandering to her every mood/want etc etc.

Oh and to cap it all, this is the family who enquired about increasing her days from two full days to four full days, so I applied for the variation from ofsted and got it, told them and now they are dragging their heels...:angry:

I realise that this probably sounds as if I'm not enjoying having this child...thing is I can see where this is going. I've been on the receiving end of spoilt children when I worked as a teacher...think I better stop ranting!!

Bridey
09-05-2012, 09:41 AM
I'm afraid you are right - it does sound like you dislike this child and her parents.

I can't see a problem with her leaping into dad's arms and being carried out. She's not seen him all day and at 39 months she's still a very little person. Its nearly a year and a half before she goes to school. She's just turned 3, why are you expecting her to dress herself without help? I also wouldn't put her not talking down to being 'rude', she's probably still scared of big children. My son was at that age.

I think there are so many unloved and neglected children out there that I found it hard to read this post. To criticise parents in such a derogatory way for loving their child saddens me. Maybe you would more comfortable working for another family?

foxy lady
09-05-2012, 09:47 AM
I'm afraid you are right - it does sound like you dislike this child and her parents.

I can't see a problem with her leaping into dad's arms and being carried out. She's not seen him all day and at 39 months she's still a very little person. Its nearly a year and a half before she goes to school. She's just turned 3, why are you expecting her to dress herself without help? I also wouldn't put her not talking down to being 'rude', she's probably still scared of big children. My son was at that age.

I think there are so many unloved and neglected children out there that I found it hard to read this post. To criticise parents in such a derogatory way for loving their child saddens me. Maybe you would more comfortable working for another family?

i have to say i agree with you on this one, my son will be 3 in july and he jumps into my arms when i leave him for a while, i carry him out and wouldnt want it any other way:) better that than being unloved

samb
09-05-2012, 09:59 AM
Maybe this little "princess" is spolit a bit at home but sounds like you are trying to support her development well with helping her to undress etc. My boy is 4 at the end of June and so starts school this September - he can mostly dress himself but gets in a flap about it and prefers to wear joggers as they are easier to put on - he doesn't like jeans because he says they feel too tight and he can't do the stiff button. He goes to pre school and also will jump up at me for a cuddle - why not? Its an expression of love - much rather mindees have that from parents than holding them at arms length and telling them to walk nicely all the time. I am sure she is learning that she needs to walk places when she is with you. This is a good part of her development and also good if she learns that things are appropriate in different situations (eg ok with Dad but not ok with teachers for example).

I breast fed both of my children until they were approx 14/15 months and I had people telling me that was too old. I don't see it as a problem unless the parents say they are trying to wean her off the breast but can't etc and then maybe you could offer support if you feel able otherwise I don't see what you can do.

As for mindee saying she was sick - I think I would have contacted parents as it doesn't matter why they were sick it is still sick and therefore they should have kept her at home. If it really is the case that she has "booby" until she is sick maybe Mum will realise she is giving her too much and she doesn't need it and if it prevents her from having childcare if she is sick she will cut back?

Helen79
09-05-2012, 10:49 AM
sorry I have to agree with Bridey. I carry ds out of nursery still because we've both missed each other all day and we like to have a hug. I would be very cross if nursery were telling him he needed to be a big boy and walk out and making us feel bad for having a loving cuddle at the end of the day. He is also very shy and won't talk to other people, even at nursery he won't say hello in the morning and just wants to play quietly by himself.

Tantrums are very normal at this age and every child will have them, no matter what their parenting style is. There's also lots of posts on here about children misbehaving at home time. It sounds like you've done a good job of sorting that issue but you're now moaning that she gets carried out. If dad insisted she walked then she'd probably revert to misbehaving which you don't want.

It sounds like this family have a lovely bond and love they're dd very much, I think it's sad that so many children don't have this in a family and you're critising them for it. I think we've all looked after children that we don't bond with well or we disagree with parenting techniques, it's normal in this job. I think you've either got to give notice or treat her tantrums etc the same as the other children and forget about how the parents treat her at home.

Mel_Johnson
09-05-2012, 11:40 AM
I know that people feel that toddlers shouldn't be breastfed but it is prefectly normal. It's just in western culture we seem to want our children to be small adults at such a young age. I breastfed my son until he was 2 years old and will be doing the same with my next (due in 8 weeks). For us 2 years was right the right time to finish but I have friends who had breastfed longer and some less time.
Incidently (sp?) the world health organisation recommends that you breastfed for at least 2 years!!

LauraS
09-05-2012, 11:44 AM
I'm afraid you are right - it does sound like you dislike this child and her parents.

I can't see a problem with her leaping into dad's arms and being carried out. She's not seen him all day and at 39 months she's still a very little person. Its nearly a year and a half before she goes to school. She's just turned 3, why are you expecting her to dress herself without help? I also wouldn't put her not talking down to being 'rude', she's probably still scared of big children. My son was at that age.

I think there are so many unloved and neglected children out there that I found it hard to read this post. To criticise parents in such a derogatory way for loving their child saddens me. Maybe you would more comfortable working for another family?

What she said, with bells on.

She sounds like a normal three year old.

I find this forum difficult to read sometimes, when parents are criticised. I know that some parents are genuinely naff, but there is some uneccessary judgement in my opinion. I would have been really upset to know that my childminder was judging me because the behaviour/ability of my child was not perfect, or because I was still breastfeeding, or because I rocked my child to sleep at home or bought them shoes from somewhere other than Clarkes etc etc. Those things might not be the choices you would make for your child, but that does not make them lesser parents than you.

*daisychain*
09-05-2012, 11:53 AM
I have to agree with all the above posts.
The title of your post '3 year old and still been breastfed ' and what ??
You have six paragraphs of complaints about this family (all of which I can't see a problem with) and you chose this as your title.Sounds like you are one of the many people whom I came across tellin me I should stop breastfeeding my son.
You are the one having to work with this family though, so if you are unhappy I'd suggest ending it.

Bananabrain
09-05-2012, 12:04 PM
Well I am going to disagree [I'm good at disagreeing:laughing:]
I think that everyone's being a little too harsh on OP.
I personally think that breastfeeding a 3 yr old is a little odd.
But as everyone else has said, we are all different.
And nobody can deny that if you pander to every whim, you get a spoilt brat.

JCrakers
09-05-2012, 12:11 PM
Im glad I didnt write this post because Im upset that everyone has jumped on it on what is supposed to be a friendly supportive forum

Everyone has a down day and I (for the record) dont think 3yr olds should be breastfed but thats another post and thats my opinion. Everyone is entitled.

Hope Nipper is feeling ok. I too have had a child who acted like a baby with her parents but was very grownup with me. Its was very frustrating as the poor parents were exhausted but just couldnt say no to their child. They pandered to her every whim and all she did at home was scream, shout and throw things around.

Kimmy050983
09-05-2012, 12:21 PM
My little boy was 3 in December 2011 and he still can be shy sometimes. I don't think that's bad tbh. I also don't pander to every whim and am fairly strict yet I do give him big cuddles when he comes out of preschool ..

Helen79
09-05-2012, 12:26 PM
[QUOTE]Everyone has a down day and I (for the record) dont think 3yr olds should be breastfed but thats another post and thats my opinion. Everyone is entitled.[QUOTE]

Your obviously entitled to your opinion but our job is to me inclusive for all children and not to be openly judgemental of how parents treat they're children.
I'm sure the op hasn't actually said anything to parents about this but at 3 yrs old this child will start to say to the parents 'cm told me to be a big girl and not have a cuddle' which parents probably won't be happy about.

As long as parents aren't being abusive then it's not my job to really give any thought on what they want to do in their own time. I look after the children, and deal with any unwanted behavior as I see appropriate, not worry about whether a child is still bf at night.

Bridey
09-05-2012, 12:51 PM
Your obviously entitled to your opinion but our job is to me inclusive for all children and not to be openly judgemental of how parents treat they're children.


That's true but occasionally you can find yourself working for a family whose ideas of childrearing just seem so alien and opposite to your own.

I just think that this particular child/family may be a bad match for this OP's particular style of minding, which is why she is feeling so uncomfortable. If I felt this way then I would have to end the contract as I would never want to harbour the negative feelings expressed against any child or family I work with.

nipper
09-05-2012, 12:52 PM
Hi thank you to everyone who has replied to my post. Reading back, yes I suppose I should be a little more tolerant of people, however, as some of the latter posters have said childminding can be an incredibly lonely profession and it is for this reason that I use the childminding forum to seek the opinions of other people who might have experienced this. Whilst I don't profess to be a perfect mother, it is sometimes important not to let our hearts rule our heads, especially when it comes down to business.
Yes I think 3 yrs is a bit too old to still be breastfed and yes I wholeheartedly agree with various other posters who have suggested that if you let your children get away with 'undesirable' behaviour you end up creating a rod for your own back. For example, I am currently having problems taking my five yr old daughter into school. She has learned somewhere along the line that I will take her to her teacher when we go into the classroom every morning. I certainly won't pick her up because as far as I am concerned she is old enough to be doing it herself, the same for hanging her coat on her peg, putting her lunchbox in the right place, doing her register star and getting on with her busy book.
I don't regard myself as an uber strict parent, but in seventeen years as a primary school teacher I have seen lots of different parenting styles...some I have 'adapted/copied/disregarded/vowed never to copy' as necessary. I like to think I can take my own two children out in public and them not let me down by having tantrums whenever they don't get what they want.
As my last headteacher kept saying to myself and my colleagues, sometimes parenting classes wouldn't be such a bad idea for some people?

nipper
09-05-2012, 12:54 PM
Oh yes and I forgot I do cuddle my own kids before anyone decides to shoot me down in flames again:laughing:

Bridey
09-05-2012, 12:58 PM
Parenting classes - I totally agree with you there!

I think the point that some of us were making was that your mindee has only just turned 3 and that some of your expectations of behaviour and development seem to be of that of an older child? (Apart from the breastfeeding - my opinion on that is each to their own - just please don't feed a 3 yr old in front of me!). She has a year and a half before she starts school and a lot can change in that time!

As long as she is aware that tantrums don't work at your house then let the parents get on with how they do things - its up to them. My mindees behave very differently with me than they do with their parents - they even happily eat food they would never touch at home! :rolleyes:

uf353432
09-05-2012, 01:05 PM
I have to agree with all the above posts.
The title of your post '3 year old and still been breastfed ' and what ??
You have six paragraphs of complaints about this family (all of which I can't see a problem with) and you chose this as your title.Sounds like you are one of the many people whom I came across tellin me I should stop breastfeeding my son.

I have to admit that this was my thought as well - not quite sure why this was the title of the post?

I have a nearly 3 yr old who is babied by mum and dad and I gently show mum on collection just how capable he is because developmentally her actions are holding him back. Now that she has embraced that he is coming on leaps and bounds, but my communication started from a basis of respect for her as a parent and their relationship.

There do seem to be lots of issues going on and perhaps a few single issues are making you over analyse other issues and blowing them up where as before you may have not worried. Work out whats important to you and then try and tackle one thing at a time. Try to keep personal feelings out of the equation and be objective.

As an advocate of breastfeeding - I will simply say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with a breastfeeding relationship lasting until 3yrs and beyond - and whilst some people think its icky - professionally its best to keep that thought tucked away at the back of our minds.

Ripeberry
09-05-2012, 01:16 PM
I think our job is about supporting the parents whatever their parenting style.
As long as the child(ren) are not being hurt or neglected then its no problem to me.
I have two boys who are allowed to handle real sharp knives to cut up veg at home and they are allowed to do all sorts that I would never let my own kids do.
But the kids are happy and still have all their digits..so far ;)

Breastfeeding a 3 or 4yr old doesn't faze me and its mostly done for comfort. I'm quite amazed that the mum can still produce the milk to be honest :eek:

nipper
09-05-2012, 01:19 PM
It was the comment she made about daddy...that really made me change my opinion.

Ripeberry
09-05-2012, 01:29 PM
It was the comment she made about daddy...that really made me change my opinion.

Comment the child made? What was it again I can't find it for looking :blush:

But lots of parents pander to their children. One of my 3yr old mindees demands a certain CD to be on as soon as he gets in his parents car. The mum lent me the CD once but no way was I going to have that in my car as it was too distracting and it was the same track over and over again of loud piano music :eek:
He used to be allowed to start the engine as well, but I did point out to the mum that its not a good idea :rolleyes:
You're doing well by helping the mindee become more self-sufficient. Maybe suggest a morning at a local pre-school to mix with older kids?

nipper
09-05-2012, 01:45 PM
I didn't include the comment about 'daddy having booby' (her exact words) in my original post...too distasteful.

As for being self-sufficient that's exactly how I brought up my own two children and the underlying ethos of my business. I know what schools expect of four year olds once they start in reception (too many staff meetings spent listening to teachers saying 'x' can't do this or that..., have you seen his/her mum doing x or y for him/her).
Please before anyone else has a go at me for being too harsh, what's wrong with practising buttons, zips, going to toilet alone with (help if needed), washing hands on own..answer, absolutely nothing. I'm all for teaching little ones to be independent but being still being breastfed at age three...too much of an emotional attachment for the child or a parent not willing to let her grow up?

leeloo1
09-05-2012, 02:38 PM
I'm disheartened that as an ex-teacher you are so dismissive and closed-minded - both about this child (who may indeed be a nightmare, although thats not the impression you've given here, she just sounds like a toddler - if so give notice if you can't try and give her some understanding) and about natural-term breastfeeding. I'd second the posters who asked why you chose that title?

When I taught reception it was totally understood that the youngest in the year would still be very 'little people' who needed lots of help with buttons, zips etc. The first term's PE lessons were basically spent with littlies learning to dress/undress themselves. So, yes whilst its fantastic that you're helping her to learn these skills, she certainly wouldn't be the only 3 year old in the country who can't dress herself easily already.

She does sound shy and whilst you should be encouraging her to greet your children, you shouldn't be forcing her to - and if she said hello in a whisper then fantastic, well done her for having the confidence to say something... use positive reinforcement with her and next time maybe she'll use an even bigger voice or model how you want her to speak/behave. Come on you're a teacher you know this!


As someone has said up-thread, Breastfeeding is recommended for a minimum of 2 years, and as long afterwards as mother and child both wish to continue. No it isn't 'icky' or 'unnatural', as people have said on here, to stop when a child is ready rather than imposing a view that the child is too old at a certain age (6 weeks? 6 months? a year? 2 years? when the child can walk/talk/has teeth?- which one do you pick? and what if they're a very early walker/talker? Or what if they were prem, so their 'corrected age' is different). It isn't always the cultural norm in this country - but thankfully, for the health of our children, this is changing and mothers are starting to breastfeed more and for longer.

Breast milk is full of antibodies and it changes as toddlers get older - if you're breastfeeding a 2/3 year old the milk will be more concentrated, richer and have more antibodies. So, an older child breastfeeding will be doing so partly for comfort and out of habit, but also gaining a huge nutritional benefit from it - especially if they are ill, when they'd probably breastfeed more. The child in the OP may have associated vomiting with milk, but its quite unlikely to be the milk that caused it.

Ok, lecture over, but its madness to me that so many people are so desperate for their kids to drink the milk that is specially designed for cows to give to their calves, but don't like the idea of them having the milk that is specially designed for people?!?

Beaka
09-05-2012, 02:44 PM
but its madness to me that so many people are so desperate for their kids to drink the milk that is specially designed for cows to give to their calves, but don't like the idea of them having the milk that is specially designed for people?!?[/QUOTE]

Couldn't agree more, excellent point! xx

Kimmy050983
09-05-2012, 02:52 PM
As someone has said up-thread, Breastfeeding is recommended for a minimum of 2 years, and as long afterwards as mother and child both wish to continue. No it isn't 'icky' or 'unnatural', as people have said on here, to stop when a child is ready rather than imposing a view that the child is too old at a certain age (6 weeks? 6 months? a year? 2 years? when the child can walk/talk/has teeth?- which one do you pick? and what if they're a very early walker/talker? Or what if they were prem, so their 'corrected age' is different). It isn't always the cultural norm in this country - but thankfully, for the health of our children, this is changing and mothers are starting to breastfeed more and for longer.

Breast milk is full of antibodies and it changes as toddlers get older - if you're breastfeeding a 2/3 year old the milk will be more concentrated, richer and have more antibodies. So, an older child breastfeeding will be doing so partly for comfort and out of habit, but also gaining a huge nutritional benefit from it - especially if they are ill, when they'd probably breastfeed more. The child in the OP may have associated vomiting with milk, but its quite unlikely to be the milk that caused it.

Ok, lecture over, but its madness to me that so many people are so desperate for their kids to drink the milk that is specially designed for cows to give to their calves, but don't like the idea of them having the milk that is specially designed for people?!?

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup: absolutely!!!

Bridey
09-05-2012, 03:59 PM
Please before anyone else has a go at me for being too harsh, what's wrong with practising buttons, zips, going to toilet alone with (help if needed), washing hands on own..answer, absolutely nothing.

I agree but to expect a newly turned three year old to have the same skills as a 4 or 5 year old is unrealistic. If I was thinking to prepare a child for school I'd start 6 months before the start of school ... not a year and a half earlier. Let her be a 3 year old first.

LOOPYLISA
09-05-2012, 04:04 PM
Well I am going to disagree [I'm good at disagreeing:laughing:]
I think that everyone's being a little too harsh on OP.
I personally think that breastfeeding a 3 yr old is a little odd.
But as everyone else has said, we are all different.
And nobody can deny that if you pander to every whim, you get a spoilt brat.

:thumbsup:

littleones
09-05-2012, 04:10 PM
I'm disheartened that as an ex-teacher you are so dismissive and closed-minded - both about this child (who may indeed be a nightmare, although thats not the impression you've given here, she just sounds like a toddler - if so give notice if you can't try and give her some understanding) and about natural-term breastfeeding. I'd second the posters who asked why you chose that title?

When I taught reception it was totally understood that the youngest in the year would still be very 'little people' who needed lots of help with buttons, zips etc. The first term's PE lessons were basically spent with littlies learning to dress/undress themselves. So, yes whilst its fantastic that you're helping her to learn these skills, she certainly wouldn't be the only 3 year old in the country who can't dress herself easily already.

She does sound shy and whilst you should be encouraging her to greet your children, you shouldn't be forcing her to - and if she said hello in a whisper then fantastic, well done her for having the confidence to say something... use positive reinforcement with her and next time maybe she'll use an even bigger voice or model how you want her to speak/behave. Come on you're a teacher you know this!


As someone has said up-thread, Breastfeeding is recommended for a minimum of 2 years, and as long afterwards as mother and child both wish to continue. No it isn't 'icky' or 'unnatural', as people have said on here, to stop when a child is ready rather than imposing a view that the child is too old at a certain age (6 weeks? 6 months? a year? 2 years? when the child can walk/talk/has teeth?- which one do you pick? and what if they're a very early walker/talker? Or what if they were prem, so their 'corrected age' is different). It isn't always the cultural norm in this country - but thankfully, for the health of our children, this is changing and mothers are starting to breastfeed more and for longer.

Breast milk is full of antibodies and it changes as toddlers get older - if you're breastfeeding a 2/3 year old the milk will be more concentrated, richer and have more antibodies. So, an older child breastfeeding will be doing so partly for comfort and out of habit, but also gaining a huge nutritional benefit from it - especially if they are ill, when they'd probably breastfeed more. The child in the OP may have associated vomiting with milk, but its quite unlikely to be the milk that caused it.

Ok, lecture over, but its madness to me that so many people are so desperate for their kids to drink the milk that is specially designed for cows to give to their calves, but don't like the idea of them having the milk that is specially designed for people?!?

Couldn't have said it better :thumbsup::thumbsup:
Why is everyone in such a rush for children to grow up, I am still breastfeeding my 21 month old and I plan on carrying on for as long a HE wants to!!

Donkey
09-05-2012, 04:15 PM
Im glad I didnt write this post because Im upset that everyone has jumped on it on what is supposed to be a friendly supportive forum

Everyone has a down day and I (for the record) dont think 3yr olds should be breastfed but thats another post and thats my opinion. Everyone is entitled.

Hope Nipper is feeling ok. I too have had a child who acted like a baby with her parents but was very grownup with me. Its was very frustrating as the poor parents were exhausted but just couldnt say no to their child. They pandered to her every whim and all she did at home was scream, shout and throw things around.

sorry but I disagree... why is it wrong??? breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world and other cultures feed a lot longer than we do....

Donkey
09-05-2012, 04:16 PM
I agree but to expect a newly turned three year old to have the same skills as a 4 or 5 year old is unrealistic. If I was thinking to prepare a child for school I'd start 6 months before the start of school ... not a year and a half earlier. Let her be a 3 year old first.

full agree!

nipper
09-05-2012, 04:38 PM
:

Ok, lecture over,
:rolleyes:

aly
09-05-2012, 04:53 PM
groan!!.

the child is 3!!! not 33..

i breastfed until my daughter was 2...do you think thats wrong?....

BEING CARRIED OUT?...FOR GOODNESS SAKE SHE MISSED HER DADDY {oops caps}

calling it booby milk?...what else would you want her to call it?...we call it booby juice, hell burn me down now.!

instead of having a go that the child is not doing something ie shoes/coats/feeding themsleves etc help them/show them.

maybe think that as this child is the youngest, and possibly the last they want to hang on to her as long as possible, my daughter is 5 in aug, but she is still my baby!! kids are made to grow up too quick these days.

uf353432
09-05-2012, 05:28 PM
i'd take a 3yr old saying daddy had booby milk with a pinch of salt to be honest and certainly not in the way that you are implying for you to find it distasteful. I can think of many reasons why a child might make that assumption from him drinking milk and her thinking it was daddies booby milk to the child catching mummy and daddy in a clinch and her jumping to conclusions that he was using her breasts for the same reason as she does. I would have probably jumped to a rather innocent conclusion for this statement rather than anything distastful and regardless it wouldn't effect how I felt about them as parents. I've got to be honest though I don't think I have a single parent (and I have 14 sets of parents) that I couldn't in a tongue and cheek fashion and say 'x tells me your hubby enjoys your booby milk!' lol! lol! smiles and laughter all round.

nipper
09-05-2012, 05:32 PM
groan!!.


calling it booby milk?...what else would you want her to call it?...we call it booby juice, hell burn me down now.!

.

I'm sorry the quotation marks were intended to show her words...not that I thought it was an odd expression...apologies if I offended you

JCrakers
09-05-2012, 05:51 PM
sorry but I disagree... why is it wrong??? breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world and other cultures feed a lot longer than we do....

I didnt say it was wrong...I just feel babies should be breastfed, not 3yr olds.
Breastmilk is obviously very good and obviously wouldnt say a bad word about it but I just dont see why it has to be carried on until they are that old...thats all. Its a bonding between a mother and a baby. I am an openminded person but personally I just wouldnt do it.

Off the subject of breastfeeding, I know a lot of mothers are trying to hold onto their babies as long as possible. I have a mindee whose mother is doing exactly that..hes 8 and she isnt doing him any favours in the society we live in :blush:

LOOPYLISA
09-05-2012, 06:06 PM
sorry but I disagree... why is it wrong??? breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world and other cultures feed a lot longer than we do....

Natural to some mothers, not all :thumbsup:

LOOPYLISA
09-05-2012, 06:08 PM
I didnt say it was wrong...I just feel babies should be breastfed, not 3yr olds.
Breastmilk is obviously very good and obviously wouldnt say a bad word about it but I just dont see why it has to be carried on until they are that old...thats all. Its a bonding between a mother and a baby. I am an openminded person but personally I just wouldnt do it.

Off the subject of breastfeeding, I know a lot of mothers are trying to hold onto their babies as long as possible. I have a mindee whose mother is doing exactly that..hes 8 and she isnt doing him any favours in the society we live in :blush:

I didnt bf dd and if we had another wouldnt this time, and as for a 3 yr old :panic: :laughing:

Helen79
09-05-2012, 06:10 PM
I'm all for teaching little ones to be independent but being still being breastfed at age three...too much of an emotional attachment for the child or a parent not willing to let her grow up?

This post has really saddened me that there are people who work with children who seem to be so detached from a child's emotional needs. So what if she starts school in 18months, that's loads of time to practice getting dressed. Right now her main needs at 3yrs old are security, playing, being with loved ones and obviously cuddles from dad at home time.
Surely a good emotional attachment is an excellent base for growing a child's confidence and gaining independence in the long term.

You may not agree with extended bf but is it really affecting your care of that child in anyway?

Christi
09-05-2012, 07:56 PM
Nothing like a good breastfeeding debate!!! :laughing: Some of you will be repulsed by the fact that I'm still feeding my 40 month old son. Others won't be bothered and some will support the bond and attachment that we share. If you didn't know that I feed him most mornings/evenings, you would see a little boy that goes in happily and independently to pre-school, talks to nearly everyone he meets, sometimes can put his clothes on, though has to be said he much prefers taking them off to run around naked! He can't manage t-shirts on or off. Putting on my past hat of a reception teacher, I'm not worried, he'll be able to dress/undress by the time he starts school, my other two can and do!
I'd be gutted if I wasn't greeted by hugs from any of mine, including the mindees when I collect them from pre-school or when the littlies arrive! Shows that they are able to make good attachments and that they know they're well cared for!

uf353432
09-05-2012, 07:58 PM
Nothing like a good breastfeeding debate!!! :laughing: Some of you will be repulsed by the fact that I'm still feeding my 40 month old son. Others won't be bothered and some will support the bond and attachment that we share. If you didn't know that I feed him most mornings/evenings, you would see a little boy that goes in happily and independently to pre-school, talks to nearly everyone he meets, sometimes can put his clothes on, though has to be said he much prefers taking them off to run around naked! He can't manage t-shirts on or off. Putting on my past hat of a reception teacher, I'm not worried, he'll be able to dress/undress by the time he starts school, my other two can and do!
I'd be gutted if I wasn't greeted by hugs from any of mine, including the mindees when I collect them from pre-school or when the littlies arrive! Shows that they are able to make good attachments and that they know they're well cared for!

:thumbsup:

stargazer1
10-05-2012, 06:03 AM
Crikey moses, this has got the emotions running high!

Re the dressing etc, I think Nipper is doing a great job. In Wales, our children start school age 3. My dd isn't 5 until July and she has already been in full time school for 13 months. And when they start, aged 3, they are expected to be able to wipe their bottoms properly (if they have an accident, we have to go and collect the child or take clothes and change them), put their coats, shoes on and off competently. In fact, the they were assessed on it last year (the assessment method was met with uproar from parents and teachers and needless to say wont be repeated!) But while I feel 3 is too young to start school (my personal opinion) it definitely has increased my daughters confidence and independence. She has homework twice a week and is learning to read and write very well. So I can happily say that age 3 children are very ready to learn to do these things. So carry it on Nipper, you are just helping her development.

And as for the breastfeeding ... hmmmm, not so natural to me. Babies yes, but would I allow a 3 year old to walk round with a bottle? Nope. So breastfeeding at 3 seems a little odd to me. :panic:

PerkyEars
10-05-2012, 08:10 AM
What saddens me is how much in our culture the focus has become 'getting a child ready for reception', rather than 'meeting the needs of the child'. :panic: If we started school later, as they do in some cultures AFAIK, then perhaps we could let 3, 4 and 5 yr olds develop at their (very different) paces. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for developing skills - I'm just sad that it's all about a standard that's been imposed on very young children, without very many people questioning whether reception age schooling is a good thing or not.

As for the BFing, extended BFing is not about parents trying to 'cling on to' or baby their children. I BFed mine until she was three, and she's a very secure and independant little girl - in fact she's got a huge gob and will talk to/at anyone and has to be disuaded from going to the shops by herself. :laughing:

The Juggler
10-05-2012, 08:29 AM
i have no problems at all with people breastfeeding as long as they want as long as the child also eats a nutritious varied diet of food (which sometimes can be a problem with longer breastfed children).

However, i don't think there is anything wrong in expecting children to be independent at age 3 - as long as they themselves feel ready. Both my 3 year old mindees were taking selves to toilet, handwashing alone (but supervised) before they were 3, can put on their own shoes and coats. I'm not getting them ready for reception but I feel that unless children are shown and supported to do these things at an early age they become more reluctant as they get older. In fact children who can put on shoes at 2 1/2 or 3 often then regress to 'put my shoes for me please' stage later on so it's good to catch them early whilst they are keen'

barbarella68
10-05-2012, 08:48 AM
Crikey when I read this I thought I was on Netmums.:rolleyes:

VINASOL
10-05-2012, 08:53 AM
Crikey when I read this I thought I was on Netmums.:rolleyes:

I thought that too, and was rather saddened by it.

jane5
10-05-2012, 09:33 AM
This forum is great for airing our views and to "off load" as we can feel isolated when working alone. Thankfully we all have different opinions or this forum would be quite boring if we all shared the same views.

The op was discussing things that she was feeling frustrated with and some of the comments about her feelings where rather harsh.

Calling her dismissive and closed-minded, the words pot, kettle, black come to mind..............!!!

Lets support each other and state our opinions and not judge each other or members may be nervous about posting on here in case they are jumped on as is normal on some other sites.

Bananabrain
10-05-2012, 11:27 AM
This forum is great for airing our views and to "off load" as we can feel isolated when working alone. Thankfully we all have different opinions or this forum would be quite boring if we all shared the same views.

The op was discussing things that she was feeling frustrated with and some of the comments about her feelings where rather harsh.

Calling her dismissive and closed-minded, the words pot, kettle, black come to mind..............!!!

Lets support each other and state our opinions and not judge each other or members may be nervous about posting on here in case they are jumped on as is normal on some other sites.

Here, here!

barbarella68
10-05-2012, 11:30 AM
Hear Hear too.:)

Helen79
10-05-2012, 11:33 AM
This forum is great for airing our views and to "off load" as we can feel isolated when working alone. Thankfully we all have different opinions or this forum would be quite boring if we all shared the same views.

The op was discussing things that she was feeling frustrated with and some of the comments about her feelings where rather harsh.

Calling her dismissive and closed-minded, the words pot, kettle, black come to mind..............!!!

Lets support each other and state our opinions and not judge each other or members may be nervous about posting on here in case they are jumped on as is normal on some other sites.

I don't think anyone has been judgemental or been harsh towards the op. This forum does offer a lot of support but that doesn't mean that posters have to agree with everything and doesn't mean that negative opinions and treatment of a family shouldn't be challenged. A lot of her opinions aren't going to be taken kindly to on a forum where there are lots of parents who are bf and extended bf'ing.

The op did ask if she was maybe being too harsh and hadn't bonded with the family and many posters agreed that maybe this wasn't the family for her to be working with and why they felt that way. I also think a lot of posters are either shocked or saddened that a cm can be so negative about a family based on whether they bf and show affection for their dd.

Yes every cm can have their opinions and it is good to have an outlet but I can't see why any of the reasons given in the op should affect the care of the child or even why they annoy her. So what if dad carries his dd or mum bf, how on earth does that affect her care of the child? I could understand a cm have an issue with it if maybe the child was screaming for booby for hours on end and couldn't be consoled then maybe being bf could be causing the cm problems.

Ripeberry
10-05-2012, 11:37 AM
i'd take a 3yr old saying daddy had booby milk with a pinch of salt to be honest and certainly not in the way that you are implying for you to find it distasteful. I can think of many reasons why a child might make that assumption from him drinking milk and her thinking it was daddies booby milk to the child catching mummy and daddy in a clinch and her jumping to conclusions that he was using her breasts for the same reason as she does. I would have probably jumped to a rather innocent conclusion for this statement rather than anything distastful and regardless it wouldn't effect how I felt about them as parents. I've got to be honest though I don't think I have a single parent (and I have 14 sets of parents) that I couldn't in a tongue and cheek fashion and say 'x tells me your hubby enjoys your booby milk!' lol! lol! smiles and laughter all round.
This so sounds like a certain sketch show. 'Bitty mummy, bitty?!'

barbarella68
10-05-2012, 11:47 AM
I don't think the Op was bitching about the parent for no reason,she had a problem she wanted to air.Just because it's not a problem for one Childminder doesn't make it not a problem for another.:(

Bridey
10-05-2012, 11:59 AM
I don't think the Op was bitching about the parent for no reason,she had a problem she wanted to air.Just because it's not a problem for one Childminder doesn't make it not a problem for another.:(

i don't agree - a problem is something that can be solved. To me the OP was voicing an opinion - one which many felt was somewhat unrealistic and unjustified. I think that if a minder's opinion of child rearing differs so much from a family's opinion of child rearing that it causes the minder to have negative feelings against them or the child then its an ill-matched partnership. This cannot be solved unless either party is prepared to change everything they believe in to suit the other, which realistically wouldn't happen.

However, I do believe that interested onlookers who want to share their opinions on the subject should do so intelligently and without malice.

nipper
10-05-2012, 12:07 PM
Thanks for all the supportive comments. I did not intend for this post to become an anti/pro breastfeeding forum where everyone who is/has/is about to breastfeed could put throw their penny into the hat and basically **** me off. It's nice to see some familiar faces showing support for what I had to say...oh and by the way for what its worth tried breastfeeding my two but for one reason or another was unable to continue, but would have carried on had I been able to.
I still stand by what I said about three yr olds being too old, but all those people who jumped down my throat about something that was not the subject of my original post...all I asked for was a little bit of support in a trying situation, with a toddler who is used to getting her own way.;) Perhaps as other posters have said you were misguided by the title?

I must admit, my opinion of the forum has ever so slightly changed, which is a shame because up until now it has been a tremendous source of information and support...oh well.


as for bitching...where did that one come from? I am appalled that any of you could actually think that.

JCrakers
10-05-2012, 12:16 PM
:( Chin up chuck....dont be put off the forum I just think you touched a raw nerve with some posters with the breastfeeding topic.

Same thing happened to me a couple of years ago. I had a screamer who screamed for most of the 10hr day. I just commented that I had put her in the buggy for a while to cry while I got on with the other children. 3-4 people jumped on me straight away saying I was a bad childminder/person and how could I leave a baby to cry when it needed me. It should be in a sling....er...no!!
I was working with the parents, they knew the situation and being in my situation of having a screaming baby for 10hrs and needing some respite before I went completely off my trolley, I did the best thing for me at the time and that was just having a while not listening to her...

Dont let it put you off. there are differences of opinions but accasionally if people feel passionate about something they can come over a bit beastly :(

Helen79
10-05-2012, 12:30 PM
I can't see any trying behaviour in your op, you have a shy 3 yr old who isn't emotional or physically ready to be dressing herself which you seem very insensitive towards. You have put all this down to her parents being very attached towards her and her extended bf. A huge part of your post and title was about the bf so that's why people have picked up on it.
I'm neither pro or anti bf so your views on it don't bother me personally but professionally these views shouldn't affect how you deal with the girl's behaviour.

Most 3 yr olds are trying at times, if you actually pinpointed these behaviours that you need help with in your post then maybe people would be more supportive and be able to offer more tailored advice on her behaviour, instead of being negative about their family life which will upset other posters.

nipper
10-05-2012, 12:51 PM
Oh believe me, she is not shy...she has two older brothers, dad is always bringing her in half dressed, saying she tried herself but was taking too long so he just picked her up and carried her out of the door. She gets so frustrated when taking her zipped leather boots off (you know the Clarks ones?) she can't even kick off a pair of wellies when holding onto a door frame or sitting on the floor and we have been working on that one for the past two weeks, amongst other things.
Dad is constantly referring to her 'moods' in front of her (which I don't think is constructive) especially when I have other parents collecting at about the same time with a few raised eyebrows! The other night he even made reference to her having to go in the conservatory when she got home unless she stopped making a fuss.
Most nights she refuses to walk unless I have started prepping her early so it's dad carrying her with bag, shoes, wellies, other assorted sundries like paintings, saying it's all right princess it's only a little walk to the car.
Yesterday for example, he collected her, she walked out by herself, got to car and mum was in front seat, she kicked off about wanting to go in front seat so mum had to get out of car and sit in the back seat.Thought they had gone, there was a knock on the door, she'd left something behind so while me and other mindees searched. A four year old mindee pointed her out having the screaming ab dabs in the car and boy was it dramatic.

Thing is, I know what I need to provide for her and when she is here and settled she's a happy, creative little girl...it's just the mamby pamby that she gets at home. They have recently asked me to look after her for two more days a week because elderly grandparents are finding it hard to cope with her...I wonder why?

Oh and as for the offer of help, no thanks!

uf353432
10-05-2012, 01:02 PM
Are parents at all receptive if you were to be constructive in telling them she is very capable when in your care, that her behaviour is much more stable and give them tips on how to resolve issues with her? I don't mean all in one go, it might be too much to take on board and might come across as a criticism when that wouldn't be your intention, but maybe drip drip fashion. Have you tried talking to her about why she gets so angry when with mummy and daddy and reassure her that they will love her just as much as a big clever girl as a little clever girl? Parents might be grateful of some well intentioned support - sounds like she is a little diva with them. Perhaps share some of the strategies you use that are successful with you. Do you know if parents suffered a pregnancy loss before she came along? sometimes parents who have lost a baby end up babying the next one a little one too much if there are feelings of guilt and loss wrapped up in it.

Bridey
10-05-2012, 01:03 PM
Thing is, I know what I need to provide for her and when she is here and settled she's a happy, creative little girl...it's just the mamby pamby that she gets at home. They have recently asked me to look after her for two more days a week because elderly grandparents are finding it hard to cope with her...I wonder why?


Ahh, now its becoming clearer! ;)

I think if she is a happy little girl in your setting then don't worry about how she acts at home. With my mindees I have the opinion that at my house its my rules and what happens after that - well, that's up to the parents. If they want to let their little one rule the roost then that is up to them and I'm not going to worry about it unless they ask for my advice or help.

If she responds well in your home then there is no reason she won't be that way in school too and you can pat yourself on the back for that one.

As for getting dressed etc, she still has plenty of time to learn these skills before starting school. I know it feels the responsibility is on your shoulders but we all have come across that one time or another and the beauty of our work is that we can take pride in helping little ones move from one stage to another - but if a child isn't ready then you can't push. They all physically develop at different speeds. The advantage of being a childminder is we really have the time to spend with them and work at their pace to help them achieve the next steps.

My son has terrible fine motor skills despite lots of practice and exercises when younger. At 14 he had a fantastic, imaginative brain and awful handwriting and artwork. Thankfully his school concentrate on his positive skills although it is beyond me sometimes how they work out what he has written but I've been told to let them worry about that. I still take pleasure in displaying his artwork with pride :) However he STILL struggles with tight buttons :rolleyes:

nipper
10-05-2012, 01:09 PM
I have posted on here before about my concerns about her hearing and very unclear speech. She has has illness after illness including ear infections, coughs, colds, stomach upsets (must be the milk) and even a bout of worms caught off her brother. I asked dad about having her hearing tested which I guess at three she wouldn't have and he laughingly replies that all the men on his side of the family wear hearing aids...this is what I get, he hears me bit won't listen. I asked mum again and she said she had never taken her to a health visitor...how on earth can that happen? What about her two year progress appointment, she would have had that surely???

I'm afraid it's excuse after excuse with these ones most of the time.

Kimmy050983
10-05-2012, 01:23 PM
Just to say but jamie was very late to be able to even pull his socks off - he has a low muscle tone. Just in the last 4 weeks now though he can completely undress himself - and i didn't specifically teach him! They all do it when they are ready!

Helen79
10-05-2012, 01:24 PM
Oh and as for the offer of help, no thanks!

why did you post if you didn't want help with the issues then :rolleyes: I'm assuming though that you're just referring to my advice and help though so I will step away from the thread.

I understand that people don't like confrontation on this site and that people should be able to post without fear of being upset by differing views but on the same note I don't think it's unreasonable to expect posters not to create threads that are quite obviously going to upset other forum members. And when told that their opinions are upsetting to other members to keep repeating them in several posts in the same thread.

nikki thomson
10-05-2012, 01:27 PM
I have posted on here before about my concerns about her hearing and very unclear speech. She has has illness after illness including ear infections, coughs, colds, stomach upsets (must be the milk) and even a bout of worms caught off her brother. I asked dad about having her hearing tested which I guess at three she wouldn't have and he laughingly replies that all the men on his side of the family wear hearing aids...this is what I get, he hears me bit won't listen. I asked mum again and she said she had never taken her to a health visitor...how on earth can that happen? What about her two year progress appointment, she would have had that surely???

I'm afraid it's excuse after excuse with these ones most of the time.

The sad thing here nipper is my youngest dd who is now 4 has never seen the health visitor not once, when they come out to you when there babies to give you your red book she was on a course so it was an assistant!!!!.
With regards to everything else I hear you, all been there, we all have different patenting styles and I do think all of us as cm abd parents have smiled through gritted teeth with how some parents behave.
My children were fairly independent from a young age and I do think it's important to help them achieve this at that age there usually raring to go, it's when they get older they don't.
With regards to breast feeding I have no problems with someone else breast feeding there child at the age 3, but for me personally I would rather stick pins in my eyes, not my thing at all.
Cheer up chicken it's nearly wine time, lol. X

FussyElmo
10-05-2012, 01:30 PM
I have posted on here before about my concerns about her hearing and very unclear speech. She has has illness after illness including ear infections, coughs, colds, stomach upsets (must be the milk) and even a bout of worms caught off her brother. I asked dad about having her hearing tested which I guess at three she wouldn't have and he laughingly replies that all the men on his side of the family wear hearing aids...this is what I get, he hears me bit won't listen. I asked mum again and she said she had never taken her to a health visitor...how on earth can that happen? What about her two year progress appointment, she would have had that surely???
I'm afraid it's excuse after excuse with these ones most of the time.

Unfortunetly cost cutting may make this a viable excuse. I know our area is no longer giving out age checks to every child just the ones who they think needs them :rolleyes:

i encouraged my dd who is 4 next month to be independent however she went to the nursery attached to the school last sept so needed to learn these things.

i think while the child does so well with you then just shut the door when they leave. My mindee insists on sitting in the front and mum will gladly give her sit up. I wouldnt but each to there own.

Her hearing is a concern however you have spoken to the parents - you will probably find once she reachs school they will mention it and see how it goes then.

uf353432
10-05-2012, 01:36 PM
I have posted on here before about my concerns about her hearing and very unclear speech. She has has illness after illness including ear infections, coughs, colds, stomach upsets (must be the milk) and even a bout of worms caught off her brother. I asked dad about having her hearing tested which I guess at three she wouldn't have and he laughingly replies that all the men on his side of the family wear hearing aids...this is what I get, he hears me bit won't listen. I asked mum again and she said she had never taken her to a health visitor...how on earth can that happen? What about her two year progress appointment, she would have had that surely???

I'm afraid it's excuse after excuse with these ones most of the time.

Why must it be the milk? I don't understand?


My nearly 4 yr old last saw a Health Visitor when she was 5 weeks old. She has never had a 2 yr check. I'm not a bad parent, neither is my husband. What we have is a very stretched health care service who are prioritising children in obvious need above children who are getting on just fine. If I had any concerns then I would get the help I needed - and I know where to find it.

'these ones' ?!?!? blimey!! i'm sure the parents would be delighted that you hold them in such high regard.

Kimmy050983
10-05-2012, 01:41 PM
Breast milk is proven to help with upset stomachs , not cause them.
At the end of the day they are the parents and as long as they are not causing the LO any harm (which they dont) then it's no one's business as to how they look after their little one..

VINASOL
10-05-2012, 06:03 PM
I understand a little of where the OP is coming from. I am completely frustrated with my 5 1/2 year old.

I started looking after her when she was 3 and had just started nursery. She has an older sister (3yrs older). Mum and Dad did everything for her, and I mean everything. Because child had mum and dad who did it all, she became lazy and simply refused to do anything until someone did it for her. During the next 12m encouragement and praise was given to her to simply 'try'. She completely refused.

She is 'Princess' to parents. Can do no wrong. Is mean and nasty (with words mainly) to other children and simply refuses to do the things that other children her age can do. Can she do it all? Yes, of course she can but she has been brought up in a culture where she is literally the Princess and if she whinges or whines she wins.

When her Dad arrives, she REFUSES to get up from the sofa until he picks her up. Mum and Dad pander to it...up until recently they still fed her with a spoon/fork to ensure she eats. Now, at my house she eats with a knife and fork and spoon properly (yes, gets stuck cutting but is age-appropriate).

My mindee is soooo frustrating and it isn't really her fault; it's her parents. So I think that 3 years old children should be able/allowed to do certain things, and of course not all children can (they are all different after all), but I think that if my mindee's parents stopped treating her like a baby and gave her all the POSITIVE love and affection she needs without treating her like a baby, she would be a different child today.

At 5 1/2 her development is that of actually a 2 year old at times and it's not a case of 'can't' but 'why should I when I can get my own way'.

nipper
10-05-2012, 08:20 PM
Thanks for the positive post...I can totally see where you are coming from.

onceinabluemoon
10-05-2012, 08:36 PM
I have posted on here before about my concerns about her hearing and very unclear speech. She has has illness after illness including ear infections, coughs, colds, stomach upsets (must be the milk) and even a bout of worms caught off her brother. I asked dad about having her hearing tested which I guess at three she wouldn't have and he laughingly replies that all the men on his side of the family wear hearing aids...this is what I get, he hears me bit won't listen. I asked mum again and she said she had never taken her to a health visitor...how on earth can that happen? What about her two year progress appointment, she would have had that surely???

I'm afraid it's excuse after excuse with these ones most of the time.

See now I was actually feeling quite sorry for you and the way people seemed to have jumped on you, but that comment is simply antagonistic given the rest of the thread, and likely to cause more people to 'have a go'. A little bit bizarre really...

Kimmy050983
10-05-2012, 08:41 PM
I also wouldn't have much of a problem with this thread apart from the breastfeeding thing. That just simply put is no ones business!! That mom is doing a awesome thing with still breastfeeding in a world where it seems more appropriate to feed your kids hormone, antibiotic and pesticide laden pasteurized COWS milk that is for calves.
So sad!!!

LOOPYLISA
10-05-2012, 09:08 PM
I also wouldn't have much of a problem with this thread apart from the breastfeeding thing. That just simply put is no ones business!! That mom is doing a awesome thing with still breastfeeding in a world where it seems more appropriate to feed your kids hormone, antibiotic and pesticide laden pasteurized COWS milk that is for calves.
So sad!!!

Lovely :rolleyes::panic:

Think this is getting out of hand now, we all have different views on bf or not bf, your comment above is just damm right rude, what about the mums who can't bf? or like myself didnt want to??? nothing wrong with my healthy 14 yr old who fed on COWS MILK :angry:

nipper
10-05-2012, 09:14 PM
Ok I think it's time to call time on this discussion.
Yes?

LOOPYLISA
10-05-2012, 09:15 PM
Yes x :thumbsup:

Bridey
10-05-2012, 10:08 PM
Agreed! :)

aly
11-05-2012, 12:28 PM
I have posted on here before about my concerns about her hearing and very unclear speech. She has has illness after illness including ear infections, coughs, colds, stomach upsets (must be the milk) and even a bout of worms caught off her brother. I asked dad about having her hearing tested which I guess at three she wouldn't have and he laughingly replies that all the men on his side of the family wear hearing aids...this is what I get, he hears me bit won't listen. I asked mum again and she said she had never taken her to a health visitor...how on earth can that happen? What about her two year progress appointment, she would have had that surely???

I'm afraid it's excuse after excuse with these ones most of the time.

Quite disappointed by this reply tbh.
I breastfed all 3 of mine {10,7 & 4} and none of them have any illnesses {only excema - for 2} ......I can count on my hands how many times my 10 year old has been ill in his 10 years!! If he says he has a cold then he must have as he hardly ever has one...
The eldest 2 boys have never had chicken pox, my 4 yo had it in jan and she is 4 nearly 5.

Your theory is rubbish to be honest.....breastmilk 'usually' has better healthy bodies than formula...but then you can get a really healthy ff fed baby.child and have an ill bf child.....I dont think it has to do with milk, I think it stems more from family bloodlines...but thats another issue.

on a side note you may not like this link....:laughing:


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2142487/Time-magazine-cover-shows-Jamie-Lynne-Grumet-26-breastfeeding-son-4.html

nipper
11-05-2012, 12:46 PM
Look I am really sorry to have to say this but am I the only person who feels that the breastfeeding supporters are quite literally ramming the subject down our throats now? The comment 'must be the milk' was made in jest.
I am actually beginning to think that if you all feel so passionately about it, how do any of your non-breastfeeding parents live up to these high expectations? And for another matter I bet you don't offer your mindees milk to drink if you feel so strongly about the pesticides, hormones and goodness knows whatever else it contains. And as for the article, yes I read it but to be honest, well I just don't know what to think, one look at the picture made up my mind. For goodness sake, this is a childminding forum not a breastfeeding forum.

Like I said in my last post, I have taken on board the comments made, please lets all just live and learn and move on from it or else I will ask one of the moderators to remove it from the threads.

aly
11-05-2012, 12:50 PM
Look I am really sorry to have to say this but am I the only person who feels that the breastfeeding supporters are quite literally ramming the subject down our throats now? I am actually beginning to think that if you all feel so passionately about it, how do any of your non-breastfeeding parents live up to these high expectations? And for another matter I bet you don't offer your mindees milk to drink if you feel so strongly about the pesticides, hormones and goodness knows whatever else it contains. And as for the article, yes I read it but to be honest, well I just don't know what to think.

Like I said in my last post, I have taken on board the comments made, please lets all just live and learn and move on from it or else I will ask one of the moderators to remove it from the threads.
No we are not ramming it down your throats but YOU blamed breastmilk for making your mindee ill, etc so you are the one thats uninformed.!.....I dont care who feeds what to others, and if you read my reply it said you can get healthy ff AND bf babies.
And yes I do offer milk to my mindees...why?...because they are nto my children, and my children do drink milk so again your theory is wrong.

nipper
11-05-2012, 12:57 PM
yeah :yawning:fine whatever

FussyElmo
11-05-2012, 01:00 PM
Look I am really sorry to have to say this but am I the only person who feels that the breastfeeding supporters are quite literally ramming the subject down our throats now? The comment 'must be the milk' was made in jest.
I am actually beginning to think that if you all feel so passionately about it, how do any of your non-breastfeeding parents live up to these high expectations? And for another matter I bet you don't offer your mindees milk to drink if you feel so strongly about the pesticides, hormones and goodness knows whatever else it contains. And as for the article, yes I read it but to be honest, well I just don't know what to think, one look at the picture made up my mind. For goodness sake, this is a childminding forum not a breastfeeding forum.

Like I said in my last post, I have taken on board the comments made, please lets all just live and learn and move on from it or else I will ask one of the moderators to remove it from the threads.



I actually took it as you were joking/sarcastic when i replied.

Perhaps we should all remember that the written word can be seen in many different ways. I saw it as being funny you saw a criticism.

Nipper has said its time to end the conversation before we all start getting personal :thumbsup: