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View Full Version : Rant!! Am I getting the blame?!!!



smurfette
03-05-2012, 09:04 AM
Grr one of my parents wrecking my head at the moment!!! Lo has been out of sorts for some weeks now, ok she hasnt been well with a cough etc but quite honestly I think it's down to a new baby sister and the adjustment to that. Mum seems to be commenting every day on how she has been when she has gone home, implying that she is exhausted and out of sorts. Yesterday we went for a splash in the puddles and to the playground in waterproof gear spent maybe an hour and a half there and then the little ones just had free play in the afternoon after lunch nap and school run. The odd day weay overdo it with soft play in the morning and a walk in the afternoon but Lo is very happy here and I would be delighted to be handed back a happy tired child at the end of the day! Trouble is she isnt sleeping as she has never been trained to sleep in her own bed (age 2.5) some nights they move her when she has gone to sleep back to her own bed but then she Wakes in the middle of the night and I suppose doesn't know where she is, some nights she is in mum and dads bed and disturbed by baby being breastfed and other nights dad sleeps with her in spare room. I feel she feels pushed out by baby, out of the bed and out of the house, she was back With me tWo days after baby was brought home and did a 8 hour say here although dad was also off, and she was very hard to manage those first few weeks. Now she is grand here again with consistency and no nonsense approach, and is eating relatively well and sleeping around two hours which I think she needs right now. but when she goes home she turns into a monster .. Really think she is overtired and adjusting to baby

I don't know what to do, mum commented yesteday that she hasn't been right since other mindee had that nasty virus and left (you may remember my post she had a lung infection and mum wouldn't take her to the dr and then this Lo came down with it) but that was also When new baby was born. She does have a nighttime cough which apparently makes her nearly vomit with the phlegm but not during the day .

I feel like I am being picked at, mum also said yesterday she thinks soft play causes germs but she loves it and I have two other under threes each day am I supposed to stay in?! Or is she blaming hygiene in my house??!! I think it's behavioural and sleep deprivation

I appreciate mum is tired and stressed but it has been one thing after another lately .. Remember mindee being cross with dog and finger pointing? And another day it was her bossing the baby around but this is her personality and she does it here I discourage it but mum compared it to a nephew who did it cos his mum wouldn't be strict with younger out of control child, my mindees are all well behaved thEy have to be or I couldn't take them out and I do have to be strict and treat them like my own!!

Sorry total rant feel better now think there needs to be words!!!

The Juggler
03-05-2012, 09:20 AM
Grr one of my parents wrecking my head at the moment!!! Lo has been out of sorts for some weeks now, ok she hasnt been well with a cough etc but quite honestly I think it's down to a new baby sister and the adjustment to that. Mum seems to be commenting every day on how she has been when she has gone home, implying that she is exhausted and out of sorts. Yesterday we went for a splash in the puddles and to the playground in waterproof gear spent maybe an hour and a half there and then the little ones just had free play in the afternoon after lunch nap and school run. The odd day weay overdo it with soft play in the morning and a walk in the afternoon but Lo is very happy here and I would be delighted to be handed back a happy tired child at the end of the day! Trouble is she isnt sleeping as she has never been trained to sleep in her own bed (age 2.5) some nights they move her when she has gone to sleep back to her own bed but then she Wakes in the middle of the night and I suppose doesn't know where she is, some nights she is in mum and dads bed and disturbed by baby being breastfed and other nights dad sleeps with her in spare room. I feel she feels pushed out by baby, out of the bed and out of the house, she was back With me tWo days after baby was brought home and did a 8 hour say here although dad was also off, and she was very hard to manage those first few weeks. Now she is grand here again with consistency and no nonsense approach, and is eating relatively well and sleeping around two hours which I think she needs right now. but when she goes home she turns into a monster .. Really think she is overtired and adjusting to baby

I don't know what to do, mum commented yesteday that she hasn't been right since other mindee had that nasty virus and left (you may remember my post she had a lung infection and mum wouldn't take her to the dr and then this Lo came down with it) but that was also When new baby was born. She does have a nighttime cough which apparently makes her nearly vomit with the phlegm but not during the day . that sounds like asthmat to me hon, that's exactly what my son was like at night-time when he had any sort of cold or during hayfever season - and pollen is bad just now

I feel like I am being picked at, mum also said yesterday she thinks soft play causes germs but she loves it and I have two other under threes each day am I supposed to stay in?! Or is she blaming hygiene in my house??!! I think it's behavioural and sleep deprivation

I appreciate mum is tired and stressed but it has been one thing after another lately .. Remember mindee being cross with dog and finger pointing? And another day it was her bossing the baby around but this is her personality and she does it here I discourage it but mum compared it to a nephew who did it cos his mum wouldn't be strict with younger out of control child, my mindees are all well behaved thEy have to be or I couldn't take them out and I do have to be strict and treat them like my own!!

Sorry total rant feel better now think there needs to be words!!!

rant away honey. thing is mum is tired, hormonal ,dealing with her 2 year old and probably looking for something to lash out at. It is NOT right that it is you though.

Do you feel you could invite her in for a coffee and a chat to say, let's see how we can deal with this together. mention the asthma. Then maybe print out and discuss some sleep techniques and behaviour techniques you can work on together :)

sarah707
03-05-2012, 05:49 PM
I agree with the Juggler, you need to sit down with mum one on one and talk it through.

Write down the points you need to raise and state them factually. You need support not accusations and blame.

Hugs xx

Ripeberry
03-05-2012, 07:30 PM
As said above. A nice friendly chat together. Maybe she is just thinking aloud and it was coming out as 'having a go'?