Feel bad but shouldn't

[JCrakers]

Morning,
Why do I always feel so bad when parents mention that they have no money :(

I have a particular parent who is lovely and we get on well, saw her this morning and she was telling me they don't have much money from her wages once she's paid me. Mentioned last week that they are having to stay in because they can't afford to go out. They have a lovely 4 bed house and kids are always dressed lovely.

Now, after working my ass off 50hrs a week and being absolutely shattered at the end of each week caring for 15 kids as well as my own ds and dd, I know I earn my money. Its a good wage but if i didnt have dh wage we wouldn't be able to afford holidays and extra things.
With my hard earned wages I'm able to send my children to groups etc. we have nice holidays and We are comfortable. If I gave up work we wouldn't be.

I then start to feel guilty about having a good wage and enjoying my money. We went through a bad patch 5yrs ago and nearly had to sell our house, so becoming a childminder was a godsend.
Does anyone else feel like this sometimes or is it just me being a wally? :D

[Helen Dempster]

I don't think you're a wally, I think you're just an incredibly nice person :) Sounds like this parent knows that and is tugging at your heart strings?

You sound like you earn every penny 10 times over, so enjoy it - as you say, you know what it's like to be on the receiving end of not having much and you went without - you've earnt it and try not to worry or feel guilty about anyone else's money problems (although it doesn't sound like the parent goes without much!)

Oh, and if you ever have any spare, send it my way!!!!! :laughing:
xx

[Mouse]

You have to learn to harden yourself to their comments and not feel guilty.

Your childminding business is obvioulsy successful and you should enjoy the benefits of it without the guilt. It's a shame the family are short of money, but it's their children, their choices. It's not nice of mum to be saying things to make you feel bad :(

[BuggsieMoo]

I know what you mean. I have previously allowed a parent to pay late as they said they had no money and I felt bad, things were tight but we coped. I then saw the parents out shopping with the kids with loads and loads of bags of clothes shopping and heard mum say 'well whilst I have this extra money I may as well treat myself and the kids' to which I though erm hello what about my bill? I am now no longer as soft, unless there really is a genuine case. I also have bills to pay, kids to feed and clothe x

[BucksCM]

Exactly why i don't let it bother me.
Had a parent who went through troubles and did keep me informed all the way...but does say things now and again that just make me think..." Really...heard you were looking for a cleaner"!! "but you've just re-decorated son's room not long ago.."!

[pinkellifun]

People will say whatever they can to try and get/keep money for themselves. I know someone who has more than enough money to live on and have things like new clothes, etc but will always complain that they have no money although would you believe they are off to America for a holiday soon.....? :panic: It gets me really cross sometimes that ome people don't realise what having no money is all about.

Sorry to rant but it really annoys me as you can tell :laughing::laughing:

[Cypherkitty]

It must be difficult, Especially if you get on well with the lady. She probably is tugging on the heart strings, possibly to get money off? Who knows, You work hard hun and you enjoy the money you make. Thats about the one thing that keeps me going at work, is that me and my little boy are going to have nice things.

I guess you just have to keep reminding yourself you are running a business and not a charity. People go through rough patches, but I am sure in a couple of months time she will probably turn round and say that she and the kids are jetting off to a lovely holiday. You'll probably look back on it and think, "what was she talking about?"

[Blaze]

I think a lot of us feel really bad where money is concerned ...but we learn through experience to toughen up.:rolleyes::)

[rachelle]

my stock reply is 'well don't whatever you do go into childminding as there's no money there!' :laughing:

[Ripeberry]

If she can't pay then she can't have the childcare. I've found over the years that the people who moan and groan the loudest about money have the most but they don't like to spend it on essentials :rolleyes:
Why should you work for nothing? So what she can't go out? Most people don't these days :(

[Tatjana]

I had one client who went on alot about having no money, and it did seem they were pretty badly off, but the way she chose to spend what money did come her way was, imo, rather stupid, like buying clothes from The Gap. My standard reply was " We all have problems, no ones life is perfect".;)

[Helen Dempster]

my stock reply is 'well don't whatever you do go into childminding as there's no money there!' :laughing:


Now THAT is a brilliant come-back! :clapping: