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sarahjane
18-04-2012, 08:35 PM
My friend who is a childminder is having problems with one of her mums over breakfast.
The lo is booked to arrive at 8.30 and my friend leaves just after to go on the school run. Mum has taken to arriving at 8,25 armed with 2 weetabix and expects my friend to give her daughter breakfast before the school run, this obviously makes her late but if she waits until she gets back just after 9 then the child is beside herself.
She spoke to the mum yesterday and explained that from now on she feels it best if she give lo breakfast before she arrives at 8.30 as some days she goes straight from school to a group and can't give the lo breakfast there. The mum has basically gone off on one and has said that my friend must come home after the school run and give her child breakfast before going to the group - this would mean that the other mindee's miss out on at least 3/4 hour of the group and is a huge inconvenience.
Is my friend being unreasonable? I personally think that the child should be fed before arriving (on time not 5 mins early) but this mum is a PITA and very difficult to budge once she has made a decision.

missymood
18-04-2012, 08:38 PM
Can she take cereal bars, fruit and yoghurt to groups. Cherios in tub and bring milk with you. I wouldn't be late for school or groups as its not fair on others but would be happy for lo to bring her Brekkie with her and give it to her on school runor at group. A banana or any fruit should be ok until you get to your group. Good luck sounds like mum is stressed a little and can't see the wood through the forest:D

The Juggler
18-04-2012, 08:51 PM
what did they discuss before LO started. Was it agreed your friend would do breakfast or mum would do at home?

If breakfast was NOT agreed then I would tell mum that she did not request and it is impossible to give breakfast at that time before the school run.
I would also tell her that I woudl NOT be coming home before groups each day to give breakfasts. Now, I have given breakfast to babies at groups when they arrive late but only due to their routines and feeding times - there is no need for an older child 2+ not to have brekkie at home before they come - I presume mum eats breakfast :panic:

Give mum the choice of a banana etc at group or offer breakfast if coming home that day OR she feeds LO at home.

Monkey26
18-04-2012, 08:57 PM
I was having similar problems so i totally rewrote my mornings and stated it to all parents in an email...

If your child arrives at 8.00am or earlier they will receive a basic breakfast (cereals or toast) free of charge.
Due to school runs etc any child that arrives after 08.05am is expected to have already been fed their breakfast.
Due to activites and outings, I am unable to provide any further food until fruit snack at 10.00am.

It has gone down surprisingly well and I think being assertive definitely worked for me - I hope your friend finds a suitable solution for all x

Bridey
18-04-2012, 09:15 PM
I too would suggest a more 'portable' breakfast. If the mum is not in agreement then either the contact changes so the mum arrives earlier and the mindee has her breakfast or mum feeds her at home. I too supply breakfast but only to the children who arrive before 8am.

As someone said earlier, whether the mother's demands are unreasonable depends on whether the matter of breakfast was discussed and agreed before the start of the contract.

Demonjill
18-04-2012, 09:42 PM
I would also suggest the parent gives child breakfast before she comes to you or agrees a cereal bar to take with you:thumbsup:

I only have one that needs breakfast sometimes as it depends what mood he wakes up in as to whether he eats his breakfast before he comes. But he arrives in plenty time and is offered brekkie straight away while DS and me are having ours and all the stuff is out - i then start tidying away to get ready for school run and i have no time for breakfasts after this so that particular parent would be told where to go:laughing:

If you have agreed breakfast in your contract though ...well thats another matter entirely - pity the parent is not more reasonable:panic::rolleyes:

funemnx
19-04-2012, 11:02 AM
Is the lo difficult to feed? I wonder if mum has a problem feeding her child? If you suggested that you provide the breakfast (as previous post, banana, toast - you to decide) would mum be happier?

Probably not.... :cool:

nipper
19-04-2012, 11:15 AM
I have a two yr old mindee who arrives on the dot at 8am for breakfast. She also attend a nursery two days a week and I still can't get my head around the fact that despite her only living as five minute car ride away...why can't they give her her breakfast before she comes to me?

My ds now aged 8 went to a childminder from 6 month of age (from 7.30am!).
I would never have dreamed of leaving the house without feeding him in the morning (or having changed his nappy from the night before, but don't lets get started on that one).

Going back to the original post, from September when I have two new schoolies starting, I'm going to insist on drop offs at or before 8am to make sure they have time to eat and I can get my own two ready in time.

Twinkles
19-04-2012, 11:43 AM
It can be stressful for some parents to organise themselves and their child and get out of the house on time.

However, maybe this should have been discussed before the child started.
I would offer to do breakfast but insist they need to be here by 8am ( and pay from that time ) or as others have suggested , cereal bar , fruit , yoghurt at toddler group.

I had someone come round yesterday for a place and she was hugely relieved when I said just pick baby out of her cot , change the night nappy and leave the rest to us. We will do breakfast and dress the baby - not a problem. But I don't have morning school runs to do.

butterfly
19-04-2012, 01:08 PM
I'm very firm on meal times and state these to every parent before they sign up. I will not budge UNLESS it suits me eg tea is at 6pm however a recent family started (3 kids) and mum asked if there was any possibility of giving them tea. I explained that normally tea would be at 6 but I would be willing to do it as on that day i only have her kids and my own kids and it suits my routine.

I would suggest to the parent 3 options:
1. she feeds the child before arriving
2. she provides something she can eat on the school run eg banana or cereal bar
3. she changes her contracted hours, brings her earlier and has breakfast like everyone else!

sarahjane
19-04-2012, 02:26 PM
It's not that she can't get organised (mum) she has a 3 year old son who she drops at nursery at 8.30 and he has lunch before he goes. She also works from home so doesn't need to get ready to 'go' to work.

This morning after discussion on Tues she turned up at my friends at 8.35 so making her late for school run armed with a bowl of sloppy weetabix and a spoon which she shoved at my friend saying 'see I told you she wouldn't eat it at home, you will have to feed it to her on the way to school':angry: My friend asked how she was expected to do this while she was driving - no answer.

This mother is a nightmare and has been for years. It is not in contract to give breakfast, she used to come at 9am but has recently changed her hours to start at 8.30.

Friend said she will suggest cereal bar but lo is only about 14 months so probably not best option and she doesn't really want the mess involved in the car.:(

little chickee
19-04-2012, 02:45 PM
Ok so brekfast not part of the contract.

So either
1. Child must have brekfast at home and arrive no later than 8.30 or cm will have left for the school run without her.

2. Child must arrive no later than 8.30am and will be given brekfast on return from school run or a banana etc at groups.

3. contract can be changed to 8am drop off and child can be given brekfast before school run.

Mum can chose which suits her. No other option. This is more than flexible.

Bridey
19-04-2012, 03:20 PM
You friend needs to get her business head on and produce a letter for the parent detailing the problem and the options available to choose from to solve it. We've given more than enough suggestions here. Sniping at each other on the doorstep is very unprofessional and won't get either her or the parent anywhere.