tantrums from (almost) 7yo

[Helen Dempster]

As the title says, I look after a boy who is going to be 7 years old this year, and he has terrible tantrums, proper screaming, throwing things etc. Todays one was because he couldn't catch the ball when we were playing Piggy in the Middle (he'd only been in the middle for about a second!) He screamed and shouted, kicked my son's garden bench over and then kicked dirt all over the garden. I didn't raise my voice to him at all, kept very calm, went and got the dustpan and brush and got him to sweep up the mess he'd made (much to his disgust!). Do you think I was a bit harsh, or would you have done the same? His table manners are appalling too, and I try to make sure all the mindees wait at the table until everyone's finished, but I can't with this one as he causes so much havoc! Last week, I left them for a second, came back and he was pouring yogurt all over his face...and then of course the little ones copy him.

He makes me want to SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM at times.

I feel better now, thanks for listening :laughing:

[silvermist]

As the title says, I look after a boy who is going to be 7 years old this year, and he has terrible tantrums, proper screaming, throwing things etc. Todays one was because he couldn't catch the ball when we were playing Piggy in the Middle (he'd only been in the middle for about a second!) He screamed and shouted, kicked my son's garden bench over and then kicked dirt all over the garden. I didn't raise my voice to him at all, kept very calm, went and got the dustpan and brush and got him to sweep up the mess he'd made (much to his disgust!). Do you think I was a bit harsh, or would you have done the same? His table manners are appalling too, and I try to make sure all the mindees wait at the table until everyone's finished, but I can't with this one as he causes so much havoc! Last week, I left them for a second, came back and he was pouring yogurt all over his face...and then of course the little ones copy him.

He makes me want to SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM at times.

I feel better now, thanks for listening :laughing:

:eek::eek: Sounds like a delightful young man! I think you were dead right to get him to sweep up the mess, as for his table manners!!!:eek::eek::eek:

[CH1957]

Ive had one like that today, she is far more trouble than 3 little ones put together!!
I think you did right by making him clear up his own mess. He is old enough to know thats not the way to behave and if he does there will be consequences. Not easy to deal with at the time though :D

[Goatgirl]

Hi :),
I do achievement charts where I write lots of things including good behaviour down and the children choose and add a sticker. Every time they fill one up they can take it home.
I would do time out for a child of that age behaving like this: usually on the bottom step of the stairs as I can see them, but still slightly separate from the playing space to avoid giving them any extra attention while they're thinking about how they're going to behave. I set the cooker timer to an appropriate time and ask them to apologise and play nicely when the time's up. Then we get on with things and I make a point of being very positive and don't hold a grudge. At this point I'd either get the child to clear up their mess or do it with them, in a kind of 'goodness that wasn't like you was it? you're such a well behaved boy. Lets get it cleaned up and we can get back to having fun' way.

Persistent offenders get put back in to time out consistently (when we're out its standing/sitting next to me while the others can have a bit more freedom) until they realise I mean business and then they rarely do persist...

Good luck, it is undoubtedly harder as they get older: they've learned more ways to get negative attention and wind adults up, but it is doable if you can keep calm and cheerful :thumbsup:

best wishes,
wendy :)

[JMcG]

Have you discussed the issues with his parents? It's difficult to do but its important to be honest and discuss a way forward that they will support and hopefully follow through at home. I've always had issues with my daughter's behaviour. I knew something was up. The schools were very vaugue and just brushed over it because she was young and she would probably 'grow out of it'. It was my fab supportive childminder who helped me to realise that she just doesn't respond to the conventional parenting and discipline techniques, and that this was across different settings not just at home because (as I thought) I was being a bad parent. She's now been diagnosed with adhd and I'm so glad that we picked it up sooner rather than later. You might find when you talk to them that they also have problems at home and are willing to work with you to solve the issues. If not then at least you've tried!